Others handle baby more than his mother

I feel useless. I went thru csect on sept and still in pain. Altho i can still get up, walk etc, my lower tummy is still very much sore. Since the start most of the time, my husband is the one that would need to handle baby, especially when he cry. Or my mum or in law would help. I feel kind of useless that im not doing anything to help even when its my own baby? I feel like im slacking and lazy. Altho i have just finished my confinement. I feel bad for my husband too. Am i normal. Is there such household where its not the mother that handles baby the most. My baby is on full formula. What sucks more is i cannot console my baby when he’s crying, like he’ll cry uncontrollably then others would need to take over then he’ll calm down, to the point whenever others hear baby cry when im holding, theyll say to pass the baby to them they’ll soothe him. I feel like my baby also doesn’t like me.I feel like im pushing my responsibility to them.

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I gave birth in Aug by emergency csect. I had the same feeling as you! My recovery was rough and because of the wound there were many things I couldn’t do including carrying the baby etc. what’s worse is I am breastfeeding. So I regularly pump and have to wake up in the middle of the night to pump as well. I felt my entire days were spent pumping and pumping I didn’t even have time to spend with my baby at all. I had a confinement nanny and support from my mum and my helper. The first month I felt really bad because I didn’t get to take care of my baby much and when I couldn’t even learn to bathe my baby (had to bend over) I cried. I felt really useless as there were so much I couldn’t do for him. I felt like I was the least closest to my baby as compared to everyone else. But looking back now, I know I was really only going through my emotions. I didn’t regret focusing on my own recovery. I am happy I listened to my body and didn’t push it. You have to look at it another way, your mum and mil are helping you so you can focus on recovering. Take good care of your body and let your wound heal well before you can take good care of your baby. Now that I am 2 months PP I am slowly getting to spend more (alone) time with my baby and I am really happy where I am now. Know that you will have a lot a lot a lot of time to spend with your baby later so you really gotta focus on yourself especially your well-being now that you still got support from people around you. Nobody thinks you’re lazy. We are the ones that put that thought in our own heads. 2 months on my wound is still sometimes sore and sensitive but trust me when I say it will get better and it is definitely not the same as when I first got out of confinement. It will get better! I wish you the best.

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