Don’t feel bond with my newborn

Question

I went thru emergency c-section and currently my husband takes care of our baby fully, with the help of my MIL too, while i recover. It’s been a week.My baby is on full FM.Is it normal that i don’t feel the bond with my baby? Even when i bottle feed him once in a while or hold him, i dont feel like he’s my baby. I feel like im just helping someone else’s baby. I don’t feel the “love” or connection with him. And when he cries, only my husband and MIL can settle him down.I tried doing skin to skin but baby cried. Plus i am not enjoying motherhood. Altho im not doing much as a “mother”.Im worried baby won’t know who’s his mother and would take it as im just a stranger, especially when he’s starting to recognise smellAnybody went thru the same ? #FTM #firstbaby

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You are not alone. Baby was on occasional latch, EBM & FM. Took me awhile to accept her. I don’t reject her, just that it feels like I’m doing because I gave birth and it’s my responsibility. Especially when I’m super tired and I’m the main caregiver, it’s even more frustrating and I wonder why did I play myself out. Even when baby was in me, I didn’t feel the connection. Baby is baby, me is me. It wasn’t love at first sight for me either, immediately after I gave birth, I felt like sh!t (weak and uncomfy) and I didn’t want to see her at all. Even when the nurse passed me baby right after birth, I’m like please leave me alone. I would say it takes time and more bonding to enjoy the motherhood. Baby will definitely recognise you as mummy so don’t worry too much about that. Initial months if you realize baby only smiles and laugh towards other but not you, it is also normal because they see you as themselves. Let nature takes its course, your love will eventually grow for him and by the time you even realize, he became your entire world, your life. My baby is 21m now and she comes to me first (regardless of happy or when she’s upset) instead of anyone else. Since there are extra pair of hands now, take this time to recuperate your body instead. 😊