It also happen to me, I was so nice to my SIL till one day, I told her off. I couldn't stand anymore. And she apologized to me. I just told her that I am his mom and u gotta respect my decision and always ask before doing something..
Hi, I think you and your husband should speak to your SIL straight about this and if it still doesn't help then better to move away and be worry free
If you feel uncomfortable with her. It is better to moving away from her/