My husband and i seldom see each other due to work schedule and he seldom have time for the kids. We did not have any topic to talk about even when we got the chance to talk. If he is on leave he will spend time playing with his phone. I understand that he is working hard for the family and he needs his own time to play games or see videos but i cant help feeling that my life without him made no difference. over these years he changed a lot in terms of temper and we quarrelled a lot until now we dont even care to say anything to each other. I kept asking myself if this is the man i love and if i will be happier to walk out of his marriage. I feel really lost. I held on becuz of the kids but im not happy every single day.

I feel for you and I think some of our mothers and especially our grandmothers would share your sentiments. Hang in there - the women folk of yesteryears also went through periods where they had it tough with their spouse (made worse as they were staying with in-laws and extended family members). They also had no avenue to vent (while the mothers today have the option to work and have some distraction). Our grandmas and mothers stuck around in the union for us - I suspect they also had notions of feeling less/not loved and wondered if they had alternatives/ options. Perhaps it was a blessing that they had less options then, so they stayed in the marriage and took care of the kids. in the end, the grown up kids are much closer to their moms (grandmas). I can only say mothers are the glue to the family, they sacrifice a whole lot more for their children, and develop a lot more tolerance and patience for their children. They also learn to overlook things that are not worth getting bothered by.... I am able to share this coz I witnessed such noble character in my Grandmother. Hang in there - your children will appreciate your sacrifices. Take care!