Ask the Expert: how to handle a divorce (Part 1)

If you wish to include the third party's identity, there are two main implications that come to mind. Firstly, you must serve the divorce papers on the third party, so that he or she can choose to defend himself or herself. Secondly, if you succeed in proving that your spouse had an affair with the third party, you are entitled to claim costs against your spouse and the third party.

Not necessarily, unless your spouse's cheating has caused him or her to neglect the family / reduce his or her contributions towards the family. We are moving away from a fault-based divorce system, where one party is penalised because of the way the marriage broke down.

When deciding which parent is better suited to have care and control of the children, the Court always looks at what is in the children's best interest. This encompasses looking at a multitude of factors, including who has been the children's primary caregiver, who the children wish to live with, who can provide better care for the children, etc. Your spouse cheating does not automatically disqualify him or her from getting care and control, unless the cheating affects his or her care-taking ability or the suitability of the living environment for the children.

To qualify as "adultery", you will need evidence such as a PI report or even text messages where your spouse has admitted to having sexual intercourse with a third party. Otherwise, if you have text messages showing flirtatious interactions or any evidence of inappropriate physical interactions (excluding sexual intercourse), you can apply for a divorce based on your spouse's unreasonable behaviour (improper association).

These are two separate issues. In order to get an annulment, you must fulfil the Court's requirements on that, which includes non-consummation. If your spouse has cheated on you but the requirements for annulment have not been fulfilled, you will not be allowed to get the marriage annulled. It is not meant to be an easy way out of the marriage, as opposed to divorce.

If divorce proceedings are ongoing, you may, as part of the divorce process, request for the children to not be exposed to the third party. However, at some point, when your ex-spouse's new relationship becomes very serious and he or she is considering getting married to the third party, it will be difficult to stop any exposure then.

This depends on whether the affair has resulted in your spouse neglecting the family or reducing his contributions towards the family. If that were the case, the longer the affair and therefore, the longer the neglect, it can be beneficial to you.

There are two different thresholds. The Court's definition of an "improper association" can include non-physical interactions, including flirtatious text messages. However, to meet the Court's requirements on adultery, there must be sexual intercourse involved.

Hi Jas, this Ask the Expert session will be happening on this post itself, where Sheila would be answering your questions by replying to your comment. Hope this clarifies your question :)