Ask the Expert: how to handle a divorce (Part 1)
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My husband had slept with an old fling while I was pregnant with our second child and I was due to give birth the very next month. I was so upset because I was always pregnant and alone looking after our active toddler and he kept claiming to be working hard driving for Grab and falling asleep in the vehicle after. Lies. And I only found out about it exactly a year later when my son was almost 1. He also has a terrible temper. He is awfully abusive both verbally & physically. But he is seen as a very nice person to many because, well he’s very nice to friends and outsiders. I was his friend first so I can attest to that. I suspect he has a personality disorder. Is this marriage even worth saving?
Read moreI found out my husband of 6 years was seeing someone outside of the marriage. He had been lying to me on his whereabouts for more than 6 months. Long story short, he's promised to cut ties off with her except professionally (they work together but on different teams). We are going to go for counselling, in hopes to help us both communicate with each other better. How do I learn to trust again? I can't get over thinking what if he continues to see her behind my back. He's a good dad otherwise. We have 2 below 5. And I told him I'd rather cut things off between us if he can't let go of her, since he's already broken his marriage vows.
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I think it is good that the both of you have taken the first step to try to salvage the marriage, by attending counselling. We have had clients who eventually decided to forgive their spouses and withdrew the divorce proceedings. They were able to make their marriage work. You may wish to speak to the counsellor on rebuilding trust with your husband. Hope everything works out well!
my spouse was cold to me and dont sleep with me anymore . humilate me all the time after giving birth and say i am not attracting him , i dont dare to get divource with him because i worried i cant get the full custody of my baby. is there any ways i can guarantee to get full custody of baby?
Hi thank you for your reply @Sheila Cheng . I am worried as I am a stay home mum and I do not have a job currently, just full time taking care of baby and my husband always say if divource he wont let me have baby when we quarrel , he say he has money and will do everything to take baby from me. Baby is only 15 months and he always play well with his father , so he is quite close to him also, thats why i worried . May I know how do i establish myself as baby's primary caregiver other than taking care of him only. I worried i will lose custody if I do not have a stable job or income.
If my spouse is caught cheating, be it physically or verbally (texting). Does proof of text able to use as evidence in the court during a lawsuit? What are some other important proofs do I need to get to in order to win a divorcing lawsuit? For child custody as well?
The text messages must show an admission to sexual intercourse, in order for you to proceed with the divorce based on adultery. These text messages can be used in Court. If not, flirtatious text messages, without admission of sexual intercourse, may only qualify as "improper association". Usually, for irrefutable proof, we ask our clients to get a PI report, showing that time has been spent behind your spouse and the third party alone, closed doors. It would be even better if they spent time alone overnight. Your PI would know what to do. However, as mentioned in the other comments, the fact that your spouse as cheated does not automatically mean that you will get care and control of the child. It may be a relevant factor, however, if your spouse spends all his or her time with the third party, and leaves you to look after the child on your own.
Thank you for your questions, everyone! :) If you have any further queries or wish to follow up on anything, feel free to email me at [email protected]. We offer a free first consultation and we would love to speak to you more!
Hi everyone! I'm Sheila, a Family Lawyer from PKWA Law Practice LLC. Looking forward to answering all your queries and I hope that this session will be helpful to you! :)
If I decide to give my cheating spouse another chance, how should I protect myself moving forward? Should I sign a post-nuptial agreement?
Yes, you can consider signing a post-nuptial agreement. You must ensure that your spouse signs the agreement independently, in order to prevent any arguments in future that he or she only signed the agreement because of coercion from you. However, please take note that a post-nuptial agreement may be persuasive to the Court but is not binding. Ultimately, the Court looks at what is fair, while taking into consideration that parties have already entered into an agreement.
Do parties have to pay for the divorce costs equally or is there a preferential division of costs in favour of the non-cheating party?
If the divorce proceeds on your spouse's adultery, you will be awarded costs for the divorce (including the PI report). However, usually costs for the divorce will be fixed by the Court, and may not necessarily cover all the legal fees you have paid.
Hi there, if my partner is very discreet, what other evidence is considered good enough to file for a divorce?
If your partner is very discreet, then you may wish to hire a PI to help you gather evidence. Otherwise, you may wish to go back to the incident that led you to discovering your partner's indiscretions in the first place, and work on gathering evidence from there.
If I decide to forgive my cheating spouse but change my mind thereafter, can I still proceed with the divorce?
Yes. However, you must ensure that you have not continued living with your spouse for a continuous period of 6 months after finding out. If not, the Court deems that you have accepted such behaviour.
Family Lawyer at PKWA Law Practice LLC