Breastfeeding

Hello:) I’m currently nursing my second baby, whose 4 months old. At this point, she is exclusively breastfed, and almost exclusively via direct latching... but it’s not because I’m great. It’s because she rejects the bottle and formula milk. When I had my first child, I shared the same thoughts as you, thinking that if I didn’t exclusively breastfeed, I would be deemed a bad mother. Despite having inadequate supply initially and my baby was screaming in hunger, I persisted. Thank God the supply eventually was just right. When I went back to work, however, I wasn’t always given time to pump so milk supplies kept running low in the freezer, and baby was rejecting the bottle at home, wasting the milk and always having insufficient milk during the day. When I got home, no matter how tired I was, I still fed on demand through the night, and always woke up early to feed baby one last time before going to work. And again, I persisted in that for another 6 months. Thank God she eventually took to drinking well from the bottle and stopped wasting milk, but my supply issues went on, until my husband had to tell me gently, “Dear, you’ve done enough.” I remember crying the very last time I breastfed her, still feeling that it was the most major and exclusive role that only I could play in her life. But, thereafter, we weaned her over to formula, and she did well! I also allowed myself to settle into new roles for her (song teacher, playmate, coach, etc) instead of just her cow. Haha. And it’s been great! For my second child, I no longer let anyone tell me what to do or think about breastfeeding. To me, breastfeeding should be rewarding for both mummy and baby. If either doesn’t want it, then baby will still be fine. For myself, I topped my baby up with formula milk without hesitation whenever she was hungry, especially while her jaundice was still pretty bad. That helped bring down her levels more quickly, and she was a lot more contented. Unfortunately, despite introducing the bottle and formula before she turned one month old, she suddenly rejected everything but the breast at 6 weeks old. After failing so many tries with formula and bottle feeding, here I am at 4 months +, in the middle of the night, still doing feeds, without my husband able to help me (I’ve gotten up up to 7/8 times a night for feeding, when she’s having a growth spurt). Does it sound noble? Maybe... but it’s terrible for my health. It’s not something for me to go around boasting about. 😂 (We’re still working on bottle training, by the way. Not going to give up. There’s some progress during the day time) Some mums have lots of milk, some just the right amount, and some have little. Some mums have nipples that are easy to latch onto, and some mums struggle with that from day 1. Some babies love breastfeeding, some love the bottle. Everyone’s journey is different. But every journey is beautiful. And so’s yours. Thank you for working so hard to be the best mummy for your baby. Never feel guilty about mixing feeds. You’re feeding your baby well. That’s all you need to know ❤️