28 Replies
I always welcome advice from anybody, not just in-laws. I don't subscribe 100% to "only you know what's best" because the decision on what's best had some input & different experiences shared by other people (your pedia, relatives, friends, and family). If it's all for love or for the welfare of your child, I tend to be accommodating and I collect whatever insights I can from anybody. In our case, though, I'm dealing with in-laws who have less healthy, less smart & even bad influence or decisions when it comes to my kids. It's like I'm the one "interfering" with these rules. They insist on instant noodles & hotdogs/ other processed food as regular meals and they'll go out and buy softdrinks even if my kids haven't tasted them before. I told them no junk food and I insist on fruits and healthy eating instead of chocolates at 11:30 so they won't wonder why the kids don't want to eat lunch. That's not a difference in beliefs on upbringing, just a mindless way of living life and replicating their irresponsible mess onto the next generation. When they made my children tell me that they drank iced tea when it's really Coke, that poked the bear. So that kind of interference warranted my refusal to let them see my kids or limit their time with them from then on. I'd tell them straight up that me & my then-yaya's efforts for months and years will just go to waste with their rotten practices. Since then I've always used my prerogative as mom to make decisions on a whim, like, "Nope, they're not going with you because [insert incident here]."
This is a very sensitive subject and is a common problem in families. In our case, I usually choose my battles with interfering parents and inlaws. When I see that what they are doing won't cause any serious effects to the kids, I just keep quiet, while keeping a watchful eye on their activities. But when I see them giving out more than the allowable number of sweets, or trying to discipline the kids in a way that is contrary to what we are teaching them, I calmly explain that the kids are not used to what they are doing, and might end up getting confused. In some cases when I can't control my emotions, I just keep the kids in our room. It can get frustrating when our parents or inlaws interfere, but they might just be trying to help out. Try to assess the situation first, and pray before you confront them. Good luck!
i appreciated all their advices on how will i raise my son. but its always depend on us moms what is the best for our little one. our in laws will always interfere but you don't need to avoid of what they tell you. it can be your guide on how to raise your baby. listen to them everytime they talk about it. in that they will feel the are much appreciated.
My in-laws give me both solicited and unsolicited advice. I love how they show concern to my little one. There are times that their advice don't complement to that of our modern day parenting. I acknowledge their advice, politely decline and inform them that the pedia advised not to do so.
I will thank them for the concern and knowledge they gave me on raising my child. I'll follow some that I think would help me for the good or benefits of my child and disregard what's not. In the end, it is still my decision as my child, my rules.
Just ignore them. You are the parent and there’s nothing else your baby would need but you. You can listen to them and nod your head but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to take their unsolicited advise.
To "interfere" is way different from giving advice. Like what most of the moms here said, it's ok to get advice from others, but to interfere is a different story. I won't allow anyone to interfere with how I will raise my kids.
I'm lucky 'cause they don't interfere a lot, but give advices. If I have to tell them something, I just say it. Communication is very important and if you keep it day after day you'll explode.
Be respectful towards them,listen and just go and be a mother to your child without interference. At the end of the day you are the mother and the best person to raise your little one.
I also have a problem with my relatives they think I'm incapable of raising my baby they like ordering me on how to raise her...just because i don't listen to them they call me names
Kristina Reyes