Mil taking care of baby chores

Felt abit sad, jealous and disappointed. My baby was just born 3 weeks ago and pregnancy wasn't easy for me either due to various complications. Gynae also warned about a second pregnancy. Mother in law was very nice to agree to take care of the baby for 4 months but since the first day I realised that I wasn't allowed any together time with my baby at all. I wanted to change his diaper but she will fight to do it. I wanted to breastfeed but she will keep asking me to pump my milk and let her feed or she will just go to the kitchen and give the baby milk powder. I have been telling her so many times and even explained to my husband at least let me breastfeed for the first month so that I can get some time alone with my baby because I don't even get to see him at all,your mom is basically doing all the chores for the baby including taking care of him at night & I only get to see the baby when he's sleeping. ended up my husband still asked me the same question again every time if can breast pump or feed baby milk powder. i literally broke down and cried. I know I should be thankful that someone is willing to help out throughout my maternity leave to take care of my baby's welfare and household chores. But neither do I wanted to not be able to spend any time with the baby at all. The feeling is so weird,it's like the baby was hers and not mine anymore.. Its getting stressful for me, not sure how I could make myself feel better anymore.. #1stimemom #advicepls

Anonymous

4 Replies

Write a reply

Hi, you are not alone. I having similar experience, but mine was slightly better. I think that no matter how our mil are good to us, there is a selfishness in them, sometimes i felt that machiam my mil is the mum rather i am the mum. My mil is even smarter, she works in the day, so i am taking care of my bb at night (how is my bb gg to see me clearly?, he could only hear my voice ya) so now, bb respond to mil voice.. I even fought with them, is so terrible when your husband ask his own mum rather then myself the bb's biological mum for opinion, like how they think that green stool is got scared (吓到), then went ahead to get chinese medicine (jin feng san), i could only keep quiet, then was like giving my husband a hint that, why not use rid wind, i got ignored about using it.. So, I not going to put i my heart anymore, I told me husband, I know you respect your mum alot, but can you respect me also, I am his real mum... First few weeks we fought alot, i am very frustrated, as had emergency c sect. And a very long scar, depressed and in pain, when I reached home, I couldn't even respond to my bb's cry, I can only depend on my husband and mil of cos I want to respond to my bb cries, but bb was sleeping at very low level, and couldn't reach him due to my surgery.. and I got blamed for not responding to his cry, bcos my mil and husband is attending to him..

1 more comment

hui hui

Excited to become a mum

3y ago

selfless in all her acts to help us out but somehow I felt mil went over the board for some aspects to guard her "pride in being a best baby sitter" and getting most of the baby time in the name of letting me rest more. Have to constantly remind them that I also only have 4 months of such bonding time with my baby and they could see I really cried alot with the lack of baby bonding time before they started to back down..hope it gets better along the way for both of us. Jiayou too!! 💜

I find this is abit mentally taxing for u. bonding w baby is precious, priceless, and no other help or money can buy, especially w newborn. I felt that ur mil and hub weren't understanding enough, more of they r enjoying the bb too. stand up for urself as a mom, I would set boundaries clear, it is my bb, I will set the rules. if they are over obsessed w my bb, I will also made it clear to them. I would protect what is mine at all cost. period

4 more comments

hui hui

Excited to become a mum

3y ago

thanks alot !!☺️

Just take it slowly... Dont over think things. I believe they just wanted you to be healthy. You have sacrificed enough that it is taking a toll to your own body. Just take this time to be healed. So that you can recover quickly and you will be able to take care of your baby. Congratulations! 😘

hui hui

Excited to become a mum

3y ago

Thank you for the positivity too! 💜 will keep this in mind too💜

Hi mummy, I think they just trying to lessen your burden so that you won’t be so tired. Try to be positive since usually our hormones has gone haywire during this period of time, try not to let this affect your mental health, this stress may give u baby blue. Jiayou!

hui hui

Excited to become a mum

3y ago

thank u 💜 will keep trying to stay positive💜

Home Random Talk felt abit sad jealous disappointed baby was born 3 weeks ago pregnancy was