Depression And Trauma Throughout Pregnancy

Ever since I know about my pregnancy as early as 5 weeks, major trauma event and decision happens along the way till today at 33 weeks. As much as I know being stressed and depressed will affect the growth and health of the baby. But things and event are out of control. Families are negative on my decision to marry my current husband who had cheated on me and giving me std and risk of hiv knowing that I'm pregnant at 8 weeks. The thought of abortion was pretty high and some close friends strongly encouraged me to. I struggle on making the decision till the abortion day I decided to tell the doctor that I will not proceed with the abortion. I choose to forgive and move on together with my current husband. Getting Married and making things simple as much as we can, but parents demand photoshoot, simple dinner and 30k dowry. This journey have more down than ever in my life and dramatic events kept on coming. I'm very worried that the impact of all the events affecting my baby and I only manage to get help at 28 week in nuh. As much as I need to be happy, calm and stress free but there is so much I can do. It comes to a point I'm really depressed and even having suicidal thoughts.

Anonymous

6 Replies

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BIG HUGS Mummy! I can only imagine what your stress is like. Women tend to think with their hearts, but it's times like these we need to think with our minds as well. Try and eliminate what you can't afford. Some things to think about: * is the father going to be an involved father if you choose to go ahead with a marriage? * would you get the physical/mental support of both families when you marry? * could you bear the burden if your baby is born with HIV, or any other STDs? * have you sought out other options/opinions with your gynae? Your health is just as important. Please take care. HUGS!

Anonymous

5y ago

*big hugs back* Initially when doctor told me that my hiv results is faintly positive, I was prepared to go for an abortion. So I waited for the final results of the western block and turns out to be negative and that's where I decided to move forward and sort things out with the father. We eventually got married ASAP as my parents didn't want my tummy to be too obvious but my brother told my parents everything about what my husband did and there were more stress added to me with the constant blame and criticism I get from my parents. I couldn't be more emotionally tired. Both side of the family are not giving any support so we are really depending on our own. The most is my mum is able to help me out with the confinement. Financially they didn't wanna help and pressure me to ask him for monthly instalment of the dowry and having me to pay the bills when I'm not able to work. Baby is actually affected by the constant stress and its underweight where doctor told me I might be in the hi

Hi mummy, I can really understand what you are going through as I had depression during pregnancy too. I felt guilty about it affecting my baby too. Whatever has happened has happened, and we can do nothing about it now. Please try to think positively from now on...and make sure that you have plenty of sleep, and good nutrition. These factors affect our mental health too. Listen to music and do things you like...spend time with friends, try to distract yourself from these negative thoughts, and keep yourself so busy that you won't have time for them. Take care!

jiayou mommy!!! i also have std given by my husband.. do you mind sharing with me your pregnancy journey and if the baby is okay due to the std? im also very stressed. afraid may get depression as im constantly worried that somethinf will happen to my baby. im not even past first trimester yet :( will rly hope to hear from u! n jiayou! baby will be out soon, everything will be ok

Anonymous

5y ago

Hi dear, I'm so sorry to hear that! Have you get yourself checked? I got gonorrhea and faintly positive on Hiv when I'm at my 8 weeks. Luckily I done all the test at dsc and it was cleared and treated. Hiv turns out to be negative as well. I'm constantly worried about both baby and my relationship with my husband. The constant feeling of him cheating again and having unprotected sex with others and passing it to baby and me. It's really hard to not think about and be in Zen mood for 24/7 however what I try to do is to keep myself busy and talk to someone netrual. You can search for helpline online to just talk to someone about it and it really feels better. I'm at my 34 weeks already and one thing I were to advise others is emotions and stress really does affect baby and I'm very guilty about it. Try eating food that makes you happy as well, like for me is chocolate and ice-cream. (in moderate of cos) Let me know if there's anything you would like me to share with you :)

6 more weeks for baby coming to the world. Try think of the brighter side, if you think u need to talk, talk it to your closer and truthful ones. Don't do or think of doing silly things since you made the right choice to give birth although it hard. take care strongest and brave mommy saving a life

Anonymous

5y ago

Thank you very much!!

Dear Mummy! Big hugs to you. Please do not let any negative thoughts to affect your life now. Everyone have their black past but what happens happened. Stay cheerful and look forward to your newborn! Things will get better. You can do it!

Anonymous

5y ago

Thank you very much :))

That's a huge step you've decided to take, kudos to you mummy in deciding to forgive your hubby and move on. And at least you acknowledge how you're feeling, and that's a start. Take care! you're doing well

Anonymous

5y ago

Thank you very much!

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