Am i a bad mom?

I am a first time mom and my baby is just 3 weeks old. I feel exhausted, clueless and lost sometimes. My baby cries alot, always want to be held and i get frustrated at myself for not able to console him. Everything seems to be so challenging and i am overwhelmed. My husband and i gets into arguments almost every other day due to the stress and tiredness from being new parents. There is no intimacy anymore. We only have each other because our family lives in another country. I feel lonely and alone on some days. We do not have any help and im also stress about my low supply of breastmilk. Waking up every 3 hours, and yield only less than 50ml each time makes me feel useless. Sometimes i cant even wake up every 3 hours because when baby sleeps, that is the only 1-2hours i can have naps. I feel bad not giving my baby much, 6 times out of 8 i will give him formula. I feel like a bad mom. #pleasehelp #advicepls #1stimemom #firstbaby #firstmom

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I totally can relate to how you feel, when I gave birth to my firstborn I felt the same as you. no one is born a mother, we all are learning eversince the birth of our child. There's no right or wrong whether baby is fed breastmilk or formula, the priority should be baby is well fed and growing well. :) don't be too harsh on yourself, a happy mom is a happy baby! 🙂 Keep your mind positive as much as possible, celebrate small wins (e.g. yielding < 50ml is better than nothing! I have friends who only yield a few drops of bm.). Try to tackle 1 issue at a time, if low supply is bothering you, try to find out what food/ supplements can help to boost your supply. Having plenty of rest and water intakes help. if having intimacy is a challenge, talk to your husband and also hear him out. Be patient and support each other. A simple hug, words of encouragement or a pat on shoulder can works wonder in lifting a person's spirit up. Always remember, you are not alone in this journey and this too shall pass. 💪🏼💪🏼

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Hugs for you, mummy ❤️ Don't stress about breastfeeding, if really feel tired just ask doctor for medicine to stop milk flow or simply stop pumping, it will stop. Breastmilk supply only increases after 2 weeks so give yourself some time for milk to flow. Remember to massage your breast before feeding or pumping to avoid engorgement. Most importantly is continue to latch on demand so the milk supply can be stimulated. You can use warm towel to place on your breast to make it comfortable so the milk also can flow better. If breastmilk not enough, just top up on formula milk. Its okay, slowly you will realise formula milk decreases. Because now the breastmilk still developing, you need to rely on formula milk. And remember, always swaddle your baby during sleeping so baby feels secure. You can put some pillows beside him so he feels secure too, play soft lullabies. You only get to experience these for a period of time before baby grows up quick.

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1y ago

For me, I just stop breastfeeding because too tedious for me already. Nothing wrong with that, and formula also can give baby the nutrients they need. My husband likes to go fishing so sometimes I am alone with baby as well but I convince myself I can do it, and is doing a good job. As long as baby is fed on time, diapers changed, able to sleep and burp well, you are doing a good job. Jiayou jiayou 💪💪 Just continue to swaddle your baby and carry for about 20minutes so he falls into deep sleep before placing him down on the bed. Is normal and okay to carry newborns until they deep sleep. No problem 👍

are you on confinement food? if not make sure you have frequent meals and drink lots of water. you need to eat more than you used to inorder to make more milk. Have those milk boosting foods like bone soup, avacado, papaya etc. You can find more info and recipes online. Instead of expressing try to get the baby to latch as babies are able to get more milk by latching. That being said, sure breastmilk is the best but what is more important is yours and your babys mental wellbeing. if its stressing you out too much please give it up. you will feel much better. there is nothing wrong in giving formula. You are an awesome mommy who wants the best for your baby and that is why you are stressed over all this. First time is always challenging and you are doing the best you could. Things will get better.

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please don’t feel this way.. you should do what keeps you sane. it’s ok to give up breastfeeding, it’s ok to feed formula! and you need to rest too. it’s normal not to have intimacy at the start, especially if it’s the first child! babies often get colic which is why they can be unconsolable. have patience, console and thank each other for supporting the family together. it starts with small daily practices.

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FTM here as well, and I felt exactly the same way you did. My baby is 5 weeks now, and I have made peace with myself regarding breastfeeding. I have never felt happier… By giving up breastfeeding, I felt like I am able to focus more of my attention on baby (rather than pump timings, stressing over milk supply). I hope things get better for you too ❤️

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im first time mom too... feeling the same way too. They said its gonna be this shortwhile so cherish this moment. We are all learning too! So dont feel bad. Talk to your partner. Maybe can plan schedule, take turn so that both have some time to rest. We can do this!