messy in the head

That is what happen to me too. My boyfriend insisted, threaten me with knives, went to my uni and made a fuss. I was with him for the last 3 years, and this was the last thing I thought would happen. I thought he loved me. I thought we were going to have a family together sooner or later. But nope. My parents weren’t supportive, they were typical Chinese parents. My mum asked me to leave the house whenever there is relatives coming over to visit. I felt like dying so many times. I wanted to commit suicide various times but thank god I didn’t. I ran away from home, hide the fact that I didn’t go for abortion, and lead a new life with my daughter now. I won’t lie that it would be smooth sailing. I suffered a lot. I cried every night. I hated god, hated him for giving me a fate like this. But I’m thankful I had a wonderful relationship with the child’s dad for the last 3 years. I hated how I went through the whole pregnant alone, I hated how I went through hours of labour alone. But the moment I saw my daughter, all my hatered for my ex is gone. All I wanted is a new life with my daughter, and nothing else matter. Babe please, think carefully first, talk to counselors, talk to friends. Don’t make a decision because of a rash moment. I still have my university loan to pay off, I’m not eating restaurant all the time, but I’m giving my daughter the best I can, within my means. I know people around you may say abortion or even adoption is cruel, but just know that you have the rights to your own happiness too. Others are not you, they can see your situation, but they will never understand how you really feel. Do what makes you happy. Trust that things will eventually be fine! All the best!