Putting your spouse first or putting your kids first?

Agree with you. Kids and spouse need different kind of love. Spouse needs sex to be happy and satisfied. And when parents are happy, kids can sense it and that is what kids need, love from their parents. Spouse has to be first because that initial spark which formed that relationship eventually leads to marriage followed by even more love through sex both for enjoyment and to make babies. The kids are just a product formed by happy and loving parents.