Stillbirth

Just pouring my heart out here. My baby was all well and healthy. Was 34 weeks. We went to checkup on Monday and was so happy to see her with head down position preparing to see the world. Just 2 days after the checkup, i felt no movement at all. I kept thinking she's probably sleeping. No kicking, nothing at all from morning till late afternoon. She's usually so active in my tummy. Breaks my heart so so much to hear that there was no heartbeat detected. While waiting to give birth, I could hear babies crying in the other room and all I could think of was here I am in the delivery suite without hearing my baby's cry. Days after giving birth to my baby, I'm so sick and tired of hearing "Can try again". I feel so paranoid hearing that every single time. And on the other hand, sure there are people that's gonna text you condolences and such but saying 'Let me know if you need anything' is like why the hell should I come to you if I need anything. Shouldnt you be the one coming to me and comfort me instead of me finding you? It's easier said than done. After I lost my baby I really feel so paranoid at so many things. I couldnt bare seeing a pregnant women or a newborn baby. It breaks my heart every single time. I dont wish to see anyone. Talk to anyone at all. Some of the people that I expected to be there for me wasn't even there at all. The least expected person were the ones that came. Sigh.