Wife constantly wants to divorce me

For the other dads out there, do you guys face your wife constantly asking to divorce, especially in the 3rd trimester? It feels hard knowing that you try your best to give it your all only for her to say things like “its not enough”, “why am I not your priority?”, “you are not the same person I knew”. I know that they are going through some hormonal changes but it still hurts when your wife says things like these. Its not like anything major happened (to me at least). How do you guys cope with this feeling? #advicepls #pleasehelp #firstbaby #dad

5 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

You’ve probably seen a lot of articles where woman mentioned they felt “alone” through out pregnancy even tho their husband is physically with them. I once felt the same too, especially when my husband prioritised his mobile games more than me. With the crazy weight gain, going from XS - L it certainly does not help the situation as we constantly feel demoralized and starts thinking all the “what ifs”. “What if my husband leave me for another girl, what if he don’t love me as much because I’m so big sized now, what if when baby is out and I have to do everything myself.” Most of the time we when we feel that everything is just so wrong or when we start to feel depressed (especially comparing our lives to other preggos), we just say things that we don’t mean to. I personally wanted to divorce my husband all the time too. What I can suggest is bring her out for dates, let her feel those dating days again and assure her that nothing is gonna change just because you’re having a baby. Find something that you both love to do before pregnancy, keep her occupied. If you don’t mind the tiredness, watch those fb videos on “other’s husband” to see if it helps. (This is also a reason why woman overthink cause they watch too many fb unrealistic husband videos lol.) I’m certain your wife still loves you a lot. Your mental health is equally important so while having to take care of your wife’s wellbeing, don’t forget about yours too. Take a breather, take a break if you need to.

Read more
7mo ago

Stay strong! If she mentions divorce again, try hugging her and ask her, “then who’s gonna take care of you and baby?”. Then tell her you’ll stay to go through the thick and thin with her. Ask her to tell you anything if she feels discomfort or needs any help.

Maybe you need to find out what is your wife's Love Language. It can help you show love to her more effectively. e.g if Wife love language is Quality Time but Husband keeps buying her Gifts to show his love and concern. This would be a mis-match. Wife will think that instead of buying me Gifts, I'd rather he spend more time with me. Why is he not doing that? What's the point of buying me all these pointless stuff etc. You're doing your best and doing things to show you love and care but you're not getting the "results" from your efforts due to the mis-match. Try The 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman. May help you. You can choose to read the entire book or just do the quick online Quiz on his website and google for the summary. Love Language can be more than 1 but there will always be 1 or 2 Love Language that holds the most importance. Tackle those first. This is one method i thought of that you can try amongst so many other methods out there~ Of cos communication is still key with your wife~ I know it's hard on you as well. All the best! I hope everything works out!

Read more

I'm in my first tri and we're both new parents as well. I too told my husband the same things, even though I do not mean them at all. We're just absolutely stressed with the changes in our body. These changes are physical, mental and emotional and we try hard to control ourselves but it's really tough. These hormones inside cannot be seen that's why husbands cannot understand why hormones change us so much. But we see you and we appreciate you for all that you've done for us. We appreciate your grind daily but we cannot express it like we used to sometimes. I apologise to my husband everytime I make him sad and I tell him to take what I say when I'm emotional with a pinch of salt. I tell him whenever I can, how much I love him and appreciate him. I'm sure your wife feels the same. Please don't stop giving her the care and support that you've always been giving. Shower her with attention and assurance. You're doing enough and keep doing it! Jiayou 💪💪💪

Read more

Coming from a 5 month pp FTM myself, I have the same thought too. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is hardworking and loves us, for sure. But he’s so caught up with his work! All tired when he’s home, always on his phone for his “me time”, easily tired when bonding with baby, less involved in household chores and etc. All these make me wanna divorce him cause with or without him, there’s no difference! I don’t feel that he’s prioritising his family, especially now that we have a little baby. This is not what I sign up for when he said that he wants to start a family, he dedicates most of his time and energy to work. It hurts our relationship very badly. I hope you talk to your wife when the time is right, get things out and be heard. Take care and all the best!

Read more
8mo ago

Perhaps sometimes it is the guy’s role of feeling like he needs to be the provider. Especially in a place like Singapore where everything is so expensive from maids, infant care, childcare, baby things, etc. Also considering how the financial burden is on him to bring home money for the family, I can also see why he may be stressed and is doing what he can. No doubt there is always room for improvement and I am sure you also go through a lot of stress being a FTM but I hope that you guys can put yourselves in each other’s shoes

Just remember, most pregnant women can’t think right sometimes due to a lot of stress, discomfort, pain and worries in their head. Give her a hug, and tell her even if she’s divorcing you, you will still be there for her. Tell her silly jokes, tell her you are hurt and u care. She doesn’t mean a word when she said those things, marriage is hard, don’t give up great conversations and just trust a happy family is in the making. You’ve got it

Read more