My Lo is starting infant care next week and I feel a lot of guilt like I am abandoning him. How do I get over my mummy guilt?

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Working moms often struggle with intense guilt — especially when they first go back. "Since I was returning to a job I loved, I thought I'd feel happy and worthwhile. I didn't expect those feelings to be so tempered by guilt," Working moms can also feel guilty for wanting to work. If you're in this position, know that studies have shown time and time again that good childcare can promote cognitive, language, and social skills. Relieve your guilt by choosing the best daycare center, home daycare, babysitter, or nanny that you can. To ease the transition, become familiar with your care provider before you go back to work,. "Do practice runs. Maybe even leave your child there for a few hours while you run an errand." Stay away from the online "mommy wars" between working and at-home moms, and tune out any judgmental comments you may receive. This vulnerable period is no time to jump into the fray. There are many supportive online forums for working mothers — turn to one of these instead. And finally, remember that your work serves a crucial purpose. "You know you're doing what's best for your family, whether you're working for financial reasons or because it makes you happy."

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Mummy, i feel you.. im also in the same situation just that mine started IFC a few days now. the first day i fetch her back, that first time she avoid eye contact with me. i was soooo upset. back home, (i was the primary caretaker at home) after fetching her home, i play a lot with her and talk to her and then she finally smiled back at me. i think obviously she knows she's being put with another caretaker. im sad but i still need to work. good thing that the school teacher is a very nice lady and i saw her play with my girl and my girl laugh and smile at her. so i console myself that i know she's in good hands while im at hand. back home, everyday i tell my girl, mummy and daddy love her. when i fetch her back, i talk to her and hug her more, as much as i can to convey my love to my girl. though she's just 3months old, i have no choice but to put her in ifc due to various reason. whenever i feel the guilt coming, i just remind myself, after all the various options we thought of, the pros and cons, this was the decision we decided to stick with. Mummy stay strong and show our love to our babies in other ways.

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VIP Member

It's perfectly normal to feel this way. I remember the first day when I had to put my kid in childcare. She cried so badly and as I left my wailing girl in the arms of the daughter, and left the school, my tears just rolled down and I cried uncontrollably. I tell myself that i have no choice.No matter how hard it is, how guilty I feel, I didn't have a choice then and I have to be strong for my girl. She adjusted within a week and she looked forward to school ever since. It's not easy, leaving our babies in the hands of others but I know you probably don't have help that's why you are making this choice. Try to spend as much time with your baby when she is with you. They grow up very fast and believe it or not, they will turn out fine. Your baby will NEVER blame you for putting him in infantcare so try not to self-blame yourself ok? Hugs mummy....and jiayou!

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TapFluencer

Initial phase will be difficult as you are used to being the primary caregiver and your son used to you being with him. But he will be exposed to a new community and will meet lots of new people. Both of you will get used to it later on

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