My kids got asked yesterday (by a family member visiting us) if they felt more Indian or more Italian...I was so annoyed at that question!! my kids are little and I don't want them to feel they need to be one or the either. How do you respond to people who ask such questions?

Rather than being told by a could-be assuming relative how the kids ought to feel about the matter, at least your kids were consulted about it instead. Perhaps even, the family member hold such high esteem of the kids that he/she thinks that they have a good grasp on complex topic. Just my two cents.