My 10 year old daughter has temper troubles and behaves very rudely with my girlfriend. how do I find out what’s wrong?

She loves you very much and is not able to share your love with anyone. Kids do get possessive about their parents. Now, when she sees that your attention is not undivided towards her, she is not liking the whole situation. I think you need to be patient and talk to her calmly. More than anything what I feel is you have to make your daughter and your girlfriend open up with each other, spend time and your girlfriend will have to do efforts so that your daughter starts liking her, and do not see her a person who is taking away her daddy from her. And it will not going to be just an initial push that you spoke to her sorted things and you can be happy with your girlfriend. You will have to pamper and make your daughter feel wanted and express your love on daily basis. Your daughter is at a very nascent age and if she feels insecure in her own home, she may seek that love, attention outside and it may lead her into bad company and into bad things. So, I suggest, you should make your girlfriend interact with your daughter as much as possible. All of you go for picnics, trips, movies, do activities together, cook, play, help in her school work etc., so that she develops a bonding with your girlfriend. And once she accepts her in your and her life, things will become quite easy for you.

The only way is by communicating. Or if you are on good terms with your ex-wife and she confides in her, you could probably ask for some help there. The separation from your wife itself is a loss of one parent for her already though I'm sure they get to meet regularly. Now your girlfriend seems like snatching her other parent away. Probably that's why she is defensive and unable to accept her. Go on a daddy daughter date with your girl and spend some quality time together. Shower her with love and be a gentleman to her so she feels respected. Then find another day to speak about this issue with her. You don't want her to suspect your motives in future, don't let her think that the purpose of the date is to fish out information.

she is insecure of course. i think the fact that your girl friend is going to become a priority over her is a big threat to her, as well as the fact that your girl friend is taking away the spot of mommy. talk to her, and be genuinely interested in what she has to say, without losing your cool. spend as much time as you can with her, on a weekly basis. show her that you love her the most and no matter who else is important, she will always remain your number 1 love :) this is a time of change for her, both in terms of the tween years as well as life changes, so this kind of behaviour issue is normal. all the best to you :)

i think it is natural for her to be rude and behave like this towards her, as she will be feeling insecure. but this is mainly because she loves you and may be worried about how all this means for the relationship that you and she share. also, start spending more time with her and talk to her about it when she is not too angry. maybe a change of scene may help so take her out on a small weekend trip and let her enjoy, and don't make it seem as if you took her out there only to talk about your relationship. give it time. and understand her too.

the best way for you to connect with her is through an honest chat. ask her directly on what is it that is bothering her. does she feel that your gf will try and take away your love and you will love your daughter less? or does she feel that your gf is trying to take the place of her real mother? in any situation, assure your daughter that your love for her will never change and that she will always be your first priority.

Open the communication lines with her. You can start by saying, "I noticed you behave a certain way with so-and-so. Is there anything wrong?" When you say this, remember to use a neutral tone. And when you listen to her reasons, remain neutral as well eve if they sound ridiculous to you. It could very well be that your daughter is jealous or feels that you are trying to replace her mother.

Communication and bonding will be helpful. Look for activities which your child likes and plan for an outing as a family. The activity maybe able to ease the tension and cold silence, If there is no bond, there will be no respect or anything else. Your girl needs reassurance, and its our job to protect, love and nuture them to a beautiful lady in time to come.

thanks

hi friend who are you