My wife is homophobic. I am not.

We have a 3 year old who goes to preschool. Her classmate has 2 mum (lesbian couple). My wife is very uncomfortable with my daughter doing play date with this classmate of hers. And for my daughter to become friends with her. My wife thinks homosexuality is wrong. When my daughter asked about how come her friend has 2 mummies, my wife skirts the issue for now and changes topic. I want to broach this topic with my wife but I don’t want to fight. I do not think there is anything wrong with homosexuality and I want to raise my daughter to be accepting of everyone and to be friends with everyone and not judge them based on gender, sexual orientation, race, religion etc. Can you advice me on what to do?

6 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply
VIP Member

First off, I'm so glad that you are thinking about this and want to bring a positive change in how your wife thinks. I think the best way to introduce any new idea to a person is to understand why they believe in what they believe. As in, why your wife thinks there's anything wrong with homosexuality. Maybe you can start with those points and try to show her the other side. As for your child's future goes, I think it's always best that a child learns about these things in the safe environment of home under the parents' guidance rather than on their own. So even if your wife doesn't agree with homosexuality, the conversation can't be avoided and it's better your child has this conversation at home than somewhere else.

Read more

Probably help her understand that as much as she frown upon homosexuality, she needs to admit the fact that it is going to be around and that your daughter has the right to gain such general knowledge. When such knowledge is normalised, kids will no longer be overly curious about the situation and start digging for answers in the wrong direction, which can lead to worse outcome...

Read more

Hopefully you and your wife have created a safe space where you can both talk about sensitive matters based on mutual respect. It cant be a conversation of right and wrong as this is a gray area and will automatically make your wife defensive. It will also take more than 1 talk so be patient.

It’s a noble idea to bring up your kid in this way of thought but I think teaching them the world is imperfect and unfair is just as important.

VIP Member

Try to understand why your wife thinks it’s wrong and get to the root of why she thinks that way and work from there.

Some fight is worth having