Hi mummies, how do your cope with your confinement? My mum did confinement for me for my no1, it was a terrible experience that we(husband and i) had. She is very strict and traditional. Wants me to wear long sleeves and pants(ok im fine about it) but she doesnt allow me to bathe or on fan especially to slp. I developed rashes on my body and yet she told me that everyone went through that, it is normal to have rashes, after confinement it will go off by itself. I showed her articles frm Eu Yan Sang stating about the myths of not bathing etc, even approach my own trusted tcm clinic sinseh which all the while he is our tcm sinseh since young said that it is ok to bathe and keep myself clean, as long as i dry myself thoroughly after bathe. Also, avoid direct contact with the wind(frm fan and aircon), all these are fine. Yet my mum still denies and said all these are rubbish. I had several heated arguments with her alrd. Now with no2, im stress about confinement again so is my husband. Food wise every meals are the same. No plain water, no fruits no veg(only selected 1 or 2 choices) She nags and nags, i know she meant well but how to survive with her "logic". Ok, everyday my meals definitely comes with ginger with steamed fish and a plate of rice, good times there will be additional 1 plate of ginger with broccoli. Thats all. She cooked the same every meal for lunch and dinner, expecting me to finish all the food. She says no soup, soup bla bla bla like not gd or i cant drink soup. After probably 10days im really sick of the food and couldnt even eat any yet she nags and scolds non stop. Complaining to all her friends and relatives abt hw "disobeying" i am. Then some of her nosy friends will add on to the nagging. I don't know what else can i do or say to change her mind or even negotiate with her. It is really horrible experience on my end. Trustable source and tcm i hav also approached and showed it to her. I am really stress about my confinement than anything else. Her best line is " i also survived, you think you are the only one doing confinement? Confinement is meant to have discipline. Whether you like it or not ok! I am doing for your own gd, you not happy then leave" :( Any advise please

37 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Hi, I can understand that your mother is very traditional and the things that she has asked you to do and the meals that she offers is something that happens in my home too. I mean I have seen my aunts doing that to their DILs. And I personally do not see any harm in following all this provided the woman is agreeing to it. If the new mother is not approving of this then the whole point of proving comfort to her is defeated. Because in the name of taking care, and traditional confinement, you are stressing the new mom so much that whatever good the confinement lady is doing is irrelevant. I think, if confinement rules are making the woman stressed then there is no point in following them.

Read more
8y ago

Yes i understand it doesnt create much harm. But the thing is developing rashes and not able to eat well during confinement is really very stressful for post natal which for me lasted for 40days! I am mentally and physically stress by the nagging and rules of confinement. The weather is horribly warm and humid, how to not shower for days and not able to wash the hair? I mean, reputable tcm has proven and shown that it is a myth not to bathe during confinement, why cant those traditional mu