Mother in law

MIL Wants to control everything, expect all housework to be done, expects me to be downstairs at 5 am and wait on her, vacuum and mop after she’s done and wants to control everything once my baby is born. This is my first child and I’m in my third trimester. Anyone has Any advises or stories to share? Feeling very, very angry every single day. Maybe I’m hormonal, I’m not sure. But I haven’t been able to enjoy my pregnancy lately. And I feel guilty because I’m happy, but I haven’t been feeling so good lately.

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Sorry to hear what you are going through. It is important to maintain a happy and healthy pregnancy, more so you are now in your third trimester. It will never be easy dealing with mil but you need to open up and share your thoughts with both your husband and mil. Let her know you are happy to hear her advices but both you and your husband will decide what’s best for your child. Make it clear that it will be your call not hers. Also, post pregnancy you’ll be very vulnerable and emotionally unstable. You need all the support from family members and not additional burden or stress. Start working out some plans of how thing would be after your delivery and set some ground rules so that everyone is on the same page. Best wishes to you mummy! Take care!!

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In chinese custom the older generation will normally forbid preggy women from doing chores! Is this something that your MIL is used to even when she was pregnant in the past? Maybe thats why she’s also insisting you do the same.. but in all honesty i think it’s gonna get worse after you give birth. And anger isn’t great for your health or the baby! You deserve to feel good so dont feel bad about that. Try to move out if you can。

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Im fortunate to have a good MIL. After she knew im pregnant, she take care of me very well, buy breakfast for me before i wake up every morning, come to my house to do house cleaning and prepare lunch/dinner and even spent money to boil nutricious food like birdnest, chicken soup for me every week. 🥰 i guess communication is very important. Did u sit down and discuss with her?

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Errmmm u r preg. How can she expect to wake up so early? U need more rest. What gen is she living in le?? It's better u move out to avoid conflict... My mil expect I call her everyday if she eaten or not when I just got married which I dont bother at all. Nv been in good relationship since planning of wedding. Now 12 years liao still in sour relation... so just dont bother

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It's a tough relationship to dealt with.. Up to your own character. Weather you want to open war and talk or absorb until explode. Communicated in harmony is key.. But looking at your mil, sound super demanding. Use all your ways you can to deal with her. Get your hubby to help you. If his not a mummy boy. He cherish u more, he will stand on ur side.

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That’s why I never liked my MIL. Control freak then will show black face whenever i wont follow her STUPID ADVICES. Lol. Always the root cause of me and my husband’s misunderstanding. I havent seen her for almost a month. No calls or messages and my life is veeerrrryyyy peaceful. So my advice is, move out if you’re able. She’s evil. Lol

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Please move out for the sake of your sanity. Which era are we living in? We don’t even expect our helper to be awake at 5am or treat her in that manner! How would she feel if her daughter has a MIL like her who wants to be “waited on”? You didn’t get married to be someone else’s maid. Get out before baby comes!!

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Talk to your hubs. If he can't help, talk to the MIL yourself and let her know how u really feel. And if all fails, the really only best way is move out and not live with the MIL. Maybe move back to your parents and enjoy the final trimester. You should be enjoying the process of pregnancy, not suffer. Jia you!!

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Super Mum

I think you need to discuss with your husband. You are his wife! He should protect you from his mother’s “abuse”. Hire a helper to do all the chores. It will only get worse when your baby arrives. You will need a lot of rest and care, especially if you want to breastfeed.

move out better.... at first im staying with my MIL ,thinking that we will not have prblm, but im wrong... u cannot change her mindset, u can only need to change yr mindset, find way to get better and tolerate like what iam doing , husband can listen but cannoT do anythg