Stressed by in laws about gender of baby

My in laws are very traditional (extended family too) about giving birth to a boy. My firstborn is a girl, and although they love her a lot, I know that they still yearn for a boy, and I find there’s nth wrong with that. Now that I’m pregnant, when I went for my 8th and 12th week checkup, my in laws keep asking, when will know the gender? Can the dr check the gender yet? They even went to the extent of questioning my firstborn (want didi or meimei), and forcing her to say didi till she was so frustrated, tries to ignore when they ask, giving both answers didi/mei mei at different occasions and keeps crying when they insist she has to say didi. The relatives are the kind that go “it’s ok you can try again for a boy” when I was pregnant with my girl. So the whole vibes are always boys better than girls, must give birth to a boy. I am so stressed as I am nearing to my 16th week checkup, which may have a slight chance to know the gender soon. For me, gender doesn’t matter but it’s really annoying to keep hearing these comments. Sometimes I really pray to give birth to a boy so that I can finally shut all their mouths because it’s just so irritating, and so that I can have my third or more children with a peace of mind. I keep telling my in laws that a healthy baby is most important, they will say yes yes, but still saying and giving non constructive comments. So stressed with everything already. What should I do...

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I feel u. But mine is stress given by my husband's younger brother's wife. She gave birth 1st to a baby girl 2 years after their marriage while I got pregnant after 10 years of trying. When she knew that she's pregnant, she yaya papaya that she brings glory to the family but feels a little disappointed when she knew her 1st child is a girl. When I finally got pregnant, she's jealous to hear that my only child is a boy. She goes around telling people that I'm the one causing her not to have 2nd child. Said mine will be a girl since i prefer girl. I told her straight to her face that as long i can have smooth delivery n my baby is healthy, boy or girl is the same to me. She starts to have sour feelings n keeps telling my in law parents things i didn't say. I told my hubby and in law that this lady is crazy n i just can't take it. All of them treat it as if it's my hormones changes due to pregnancy and just brushed it off. To me, mine n my baby's health are more important and some how my darling baby is understand me, and able to calm me down. Once I finished my confinement, I scream at all of them to let them know that I'm damn pissed off whenever anyone tries to tell me anything about her. And now all of them don't dare to speak to me anything about her, unless they want to hear nasty things. 😂 Whenever u feel stress by irritating people, focus n focus just on yourself and ur child. Nothing is more important than that. Have smooth delivery n enjoy happy pregnancy.

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ohhhhh myyyyy gaaaaawd. here we go againnn. when can parents in law finally learn that it's their sons' chromosomes/sperms that will determine the gender of the baby. they should really stop the blaming. and stop the tradition of sons bringing the name bs. soooo annoying. all children matters. bcz of them, girls die or abandoned. gaawwwd..

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You can consider to talk to your partner and see if he can speak to their parent about it. Boy or girl really don’t matter, as you say most important is to have a healthy baby. Don’t be stress by thing that you cannot control. Your emo will also impact your baby. Take care, 🙉🙊🙈, stay positive and may you have healthy baby!

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Opposite way of mine . My ex husband mother wanted me to have a girl yet I gotten a boy my second husband mother wanted a boy yet I gotten a girl . So it hard to say what gender you are going have ... as long as your husband is happy can already just take them as singing song .

All want boy later god (whatever religion) keep giving boy, no girl to marry 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ what is wrong with these people? Boy confirm will look after you meh? Base on experience, female will end up look after the parents when old.

4y ago

Yes, I agree! Based on experience too

Do they not even know that it's their son's sperms that creates the baby's gender? Why give all the pressure to you & daughter instead of their son? I will just ignore them. My pregnancy is my priority and I want a healthy and stress free one.

I will ignore. If they want boy so much ask them ownself give birth 🙄 both also my children, I wouldn’t love them any less. 20th century alr. Tell them Girls can change the world too.

I would not want to find out the gender during pregnancy if I were you or even if I did I would tell the family that we are keeping it a surprise to find out after delivery

VIP Member

maybe if your hub can help to speak with them? most importantly is for u to stay happy during pregnancy season.

VIP Member

Dont stress yourself. Your child, your rule. Let them. :)