rants

Question

Im a SAHM and a first time mum. My husband and I, stay with my family since our house isnt ready yet. My husband doesnt really help around with the baby unless I voice out. I keep reminding him to help with the small things such as empty the bin that is full with babys diapers or worst, pick up his own dirty clothes (from work) that he has the habit to throw on the floor. Yes, he is use to me doing things for him. Preparing his food, cleaning his mess, pick up his dirty clothes etc. And when I get mad and went berserk (cos hallo I gave birth via emergency csect and still recovering while baby is still a month old), he will keep on saying What I did for you and baby? Then who is the one that buy this and that?.The fact that he keep on saying those, makes me give up to ask his help. But when I asked for help from my family members, he will be not happy about it. What should I do?

Roshni Mahtani · Answer

What’s causing him to rant out like this? Does he have other triggers in life like work stress etc? Whenever you tell him to help are you doing it in a snapping way or are you asking lovingly? I notice when I snap at my Husband he becomes doubly worse but if I ask nicely I generally get his help and support. Sometimes men and their egos get in the way and they don’t like being told off.