Feeling lost after having the younger one

Hi, I’m mummy of 3 kids.Elder one is 12 years old, 2nd one is 9 years old and younger one is 5 mths old. I’m fully bf my lo now. After my lo came, my life suddenly changed a lot. I’m felt so stresss to look after my kids, I have to worry my elder n 2nd’s homework, have to do housework, have to cook, have to pump for my lo, have to look after my lo. I felt lost and I don’t have much time to rest. Since delivered, everyday I’m only sleep no more than 5 hours. No Matters how I clean n done the housework, my elder n 2nd one will mess the house and everyday I have to redo n redo. No one is helping me. All I have to do it myself. No matter how I talk to my elder n 2nd one, they just repeat n repeat. I really felt lost. I don’t know how to carry on this kind of lifestyle. :(

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Probably get ur mom or mom in law to help out if possible on ur older kids . But on the same time pump out ur breast milk and get them to feed the baby through the bottle so u can encourage the other kids u need their help a lot to keep the home neat . And encourage them when they did well. Kids will love to be praise too especially when they have another sibling in family that attention and love is all on baby which jealousy may form. Let them help out in simple task for the baby and probably they slowly will get better and understand your hardship and their importance to upkeep The home well

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Hi, I would suggest couple of things. First thing, please talk to your husband about this. You can really use his help Second , if possible, please get a maid. This will give more enjoyable and relaxed time with your kids And thirdly, try talking to your kids about how tired you get. I am sure they will start understanding gradually :)

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Thanks for your replies. My mil not in Sg and my mom looked after my sis’s kids. I always felt alone to facing all these. Even my hubby, he work n work. Can’t help at all. What to do and what to blame? :( really depressed.im always tell myself I must be strong n look after well my kids. But most of time really felt lost. :(

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i know its not easy....but try making older ones do things as part of a game or story. support of older siblings is very important. once your baby reaches 6 mnths to 1 year....make the older children be engaged with the baby in terms of playing games, learning, and keeping entertained so you can have your time too to breathe

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Stay strong! Tell your Older ones that this makes mummy tired and unhappy. They may see the point after some time. Consider asking help from your Husband, Mother / Mother in law or other family members or if possible engage a part time paid help... stay strong this shall pass soon

VIP Member

You could try and sit down and have a serious talk with your two older kids. At their age they should be able to understand. Get your husband to talk to them too, you shouldn't have to go through all this alone. Hugs!

Please try getting help from your mom or mom in law. At these stressful times I believe family support really helps. And also don’t be too hard on yourself. Just be patient and with time things will get better:)

Super Mum

Maybe u try to ignore your 2 elder ones a little.. dont clean up their mess . Maybe they will feel the inconvenience and cause less mess.. talk to them.. I think they can be more understanding to u.. stay strong

Hang in there Train the elder and second to take on some responsibilities to help out around the house especially with the housework etc Get a part time help to come in to also help with the housework?

please check if theres anyone who can help you out. talk to your friends, relatives when you can to have something else to refresh your routine. hope things will be fine.