im a big shit

Im 21 weeks pregnant today, and feel so depressed. My bf wants to abort the baby but I object . And then he wants to put the baby for adoption when I give birth but insisted not to do it. After a week he said sorry about what he said. And asking me whats are options and I gave him an option. Will take care of the baby and work til he finished his study. And will be working again together in the ship ( we're both seafarer). Weeks passed by and ask him how is he like to tell me honestly what he feel. And he did tell me he's not sure if were still okay about our relationship. And ask him one favor to atleast back together like how we start and hmif he didnt feel it just let me know and will not bother him anymore. I feel like im doing a big shit in my life for begging him to do it. Yung tipong sinisiksik ko yun sarili ko sa kanya para pang masabi na may daddy yun anak namin. Last na katangahan na to sinusbukan ko lang para hindi ako magkaron ng regret in the future pag tinanong na ako baby ko nasan/ ano nangyari / bakit wala siyang daddy kung sakaling di tlaga kami mag work. PHL and NTL