Frustration towards my pil

I am really struggling with my parents-in-law. My feelings about them changed after the birth of our first child. I can no longer stand the sight or sound of them. Specially my mil first of all she not the one taking care of her own son when he is young who is now my husband so I kind of thinking she doesn’t know the common kid’s behaviour. Btw she doesn’t know how to cook also. All she know is taking herself well. So during my confinement she does not bother to help a bit. Me and my husband both struggle to take care our first new born specially I am in the midst of recovering from my emergency c-sect. Then whenever she and my fil came to visit my daughter for once in awhile she will complaint why does my daughter so fussy and hot tempered for example my daughter will whine after waking up from her nap. Isn’t this normal for a kid and she currently is just 2.5yo. And whenever we went out for an occasional she and my fil will feed nonsense to my daughter such as green tea, Chinese gui which is all so sweet and hard to digest for a kid. I really hate to see their face and sound. Yet my second baby is coming up in 3mths time, I start to worry my fil will put his face so near to my newborn just like what he did to my first child and spread his virus and cos he is very old he can’t carry my child properly. Feel like asking my husband to only inform them to come visit after our newborn is more stable but I don’t know how to explain to him my frustration towards them 😞

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You should discuss and comes to a decision with your spouse. Ultimately, end day spouse has to give you support mentally, physically and emotionally esp after birth period. If during the confinement period is the time of no visitor and just recovery mode for you and resting mode for baby/you. Your spouse has to support you. Not to go against your PIL but if it is for the safety of NB then you should. Previously, my first born at 3 months old was contracted with Influenza A sort of sickness from adults like cough, flu, etc. So at her age no medication nothing at all. She went through fever, dehydration and therefore admitted for 3 days. So, when it comes to my second born I am very wary. Though I have my older parents, people that smoke. As much possible Ill ask them wash hand, sanitize, etc. And no kissing on face, cheeks, lips, etc. And I dont allow any outsider to visit except PIL. I am glad at this point my second born didn't fall sick except once due to fever due to viral infectious months back. All my cousin, relatives, aunts/uncles, friends only manage to see my second born after confinement and during the festive Hari Raya period. Also, I posted on social media platform of mine that no one should be kissing, hugging, etc baby during the festive visiting. I sort of hinting to them so that they know and to avoid any unnecessary sickness affecting my second born.

Home Birthclub: August 2023 i really struggling with parents in law feelings about them changed after b