Me too. I used to like my mil. When living with my pil wo kids, it was ok for me. There was no conflict or whatsoever. But the moment my pil knew I was pregnant, i felt that my mil will start to intervene in certain matters like how I should do my confinement and take care of my baby and stuffs. And she would also compare me to my sis in law and keep wanting me to follow what my sil do. Worst still, she likes to comment and compare everything i do to my baby, but yet she herself dont know how to take care of baby. She doesnt even dare to carry my baby until she was 3-4months old. So yes, altho we were living happily before i had a child, the moment i am pregnant, everythinf changed. it seems that they felt that they have a right to intervene in your matters once you have their grandchild bcoz the grandchild is theirs. Luckily my bto was rdy by the time my child turned one. I actually couldnt tahan anymore and moved back to my mum house for a month b4 i moved. Til now i still dread gg to visit my pil.
I'm staying with my inlaws too. And my son just turned 8 mths old. This is my first son & their first grandson. All i can say is, to look on the bright side. I'm so thankful for my in-laws as they help out A LOT with my son. My MIL especially sacrificed a lot for him. She is a working mum too and help to fetch my son from the babysitter after her work as she works close to where we stay. When the baby cries non-stop, if she got up from her sleep she will take him to her room and try to get him to calm down and sleep. She helps to bathe & feed him as well. Not trying to make her sound like a maid lol but she does all this willingly and so I appreciate her so much and I can't imagine doing this on my own when my husband works shift at night. So little things or disagreement that i have, i have to just deal with it.
Everyone has a choice and sometimes sacrifices need to be made. If you chose to live with your in laws because someone can take care of your kids when you're working, or because you can save money while waiting for BTO, then learn to respect and give in to the elders who have more years of experience having raised their own children. Afterall it's their home. You're not accommodating them, they are accommodating you and your family. If you can't stand them, then spend that extra few thousand dollars a month and move out and have your own space and make adjustments to take care of your own kids. Can't have the best of both worlds.
I totally feel you. before giving birth we lived together very happily and they don't even interfere anything but once baby is out, everything change and I also feel turned off whenever MIL spoils my child. even when we tried to teach about manners, she also have to interfere and told us there's no need to teach, they will learn it when they grow up🙄 don't understand her logic
We chose to stay separately, but met up often and stayed over at his place for a few days (no more than 4 consecutive days) each week. This lasted almost through the first 2 years of our marriage, until we got our own place. This essentially pushed back our plans to have kids, but glad we did it this way.
I am doing my confinement now, and my MIL stays a couple of blocks away from us. She even wants to dictate what my confinement nanny cooks for me even though she is so experienced. Kept saying not to add ginger and sesame oil into the food because her mum said so?
I'm staying with my IL too and yes understand how difficulty it is. Perhaps try having your hubby to talk to her, advice is appreciated but not to step over the boundary to interfere how you want to educate your own child?
hope you will be able to find a better solution soon! pro just take the mil words as a pinch of salt. and focus on what the best for your kids! gd luck! supporting your every decision!
thank you!
i chose to stay with as few people as possible... i always believe staying with anyone can prove to be difficult... everyone should have their own space
oh dear.... im afraid ill become like this too... me and husband are waiting for our BTO as well and the little one will be born on late sept😭
celine teresa