too young or at the right age

I have a friend who has just given birth less than a month. She has always been very conscious with everything surrounding her. From her being first time pregnant till giving birth. She hears no one but except to experiement or research on almost everything. Recently when i visited her and her less than a month baby, i came to realize that there are many things which normal post pregnancy mum does which she dont practise because based on her research. But when concern me most is when she told us that she is teaching her baby to self soothe and will try her best no to co-sleep with the baby. it came to a shock because at such a young age, less than a month old, the baby was make to train to self soothe. We find it shocking as we too have a child. We understand her plight of having to care for the baby alone while her husband works. but to self soothe such a young infants, we fear she is facing a post natal blues. We have too read online that we can self soothe baby but at a recommended age of 4-6 months..We, as friends who are also mother, felt that all her baby needs now is just that warmth of a mom before he felt asleep, some fresh air, as she confine the baby in the room only, probably some playing moment. She wouldnt let anyone carry her baby when he is crying and will often try her best to "train" him to sleep even though he seems wide awake and just need a little conversation moment. does anyone practice self soothing your child as early as newborn? is my friend showing sign of post natal blues? i need advise and assurance that she is fine and she is not harming herself and baby.

8 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

If the self-soothing part is the only notable concern that you had for your friend, I don't think that constitutes post-natal blues. I'm guessing that she is probably a first-time mom who relied heavily on what she has researched on the internet. This is quite typical for those who doesn't have an elder person to co-care of the baby. She probably just need more time to realize that not everything that she had read on the internet could be applied to her baby. As her friend, I think you can tell her nicely that it may be too soon to train the baby to self-soothe at 1mo but do not forced her to accept your comment and do what you recommend. It might backfire, just like we don't teach other parents how to discipline their kids. I think so long as she is not talking strangely to the extent that she is so stressed out or harming the baby, she should not be having post-natal blues I guess...

Read more