Should I reveal the gender to a bff of mine?

I have this BFF is a SAHM and who has been very obsessed with having a baby girl but she had 2 boys instead, and I am one of her boy’s god mother. She told me that if I get pregnant with a baby girl, she would want to be her god mother and buy her a lot beautiful clothes and toys, to fill her void of not being able to have girls. And true enough, I’m currently pregnant with a baby girl. My hubby has reserves on wanting her to be our child’s god mother and he is afraid that she will spoil our girl too much by buying her with a lot of things. We don’t want her to spend money on our girl as her hubby is having financial troubles and he hasn’t been frank with her. How do I let her down gently? Should I reveal the gender to her? Not sure if I should make her my girl’s god mother, given that we know about her hubby’s situation...

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I think you can just let your bff know regarding the concern about her being the god mother. Tbh, I have colleagues and friends which are all having boys and spoilt my baby with a lot of things. I think that is fine because end of the day, they passed me the items and I made the choice whether to give to my child or not. For clothes, I will just let her wear. But for toys, I made it very clear to my friends. Hence, they brought me along to choose the toys for my girl, or otherwise passed me the cash to buy things for my girl. I prefer realistic items such as diapers and all. Even for clothes, I told my friends specifically the sizes to buy. They do understand where I am coming from as I also do not want them to spend money which will be wasted (like buying clothes too small for my girl).

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It’s a joy a your BFF loves your kid but I also don’t think it’s appropriate that she loves her because she’s a girl. With that being said, your bff sooner or later would discover your baby gender. Perhaps let her know in a way that children do not require material loves. They wouldn’t know who loves them most just by who is giving them the most toys. Let her know that your girl just needs lots of hugs and cuddles and someone being there for her, and your bff could do that too. Organize a frequent play date in future, so her boys can play with your girl, just like siblings playing tgt, making it more merrier.

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Since she is your BFF, I think it’s good to have an open discussion with her. Ultimately she’s gonna find out about your baby gender. You can brush it aside but it’s not going to help if she insists. And if you reject without letting her know why, she might be hurt. Why not talk to her about it and let her know how you actually feel. Appreciate her for being such a BFF and seek her understanding for not buying stuff if she insists to be the god mother of your child. She can shower her love through other means apart from buying stuffs.

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I don't think it's cool to have godmother or godfather. If i, i would just want to be d one and only mother to my children. What if one day your child asks if your bff is your husband's wife too? Eeeeyerrr.. No way. I would not want my children to be used to have 2 mothers. No. And never. Family is family. Bff can sometimes bite behind your back. If your bff wanna buy stuff for your kid then just buy. Don't need to give her the title mother to your children. Jz my 2cents. Everyone is different.

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3y ago

Why so possessive and ridiculous? Not as though the god mother is going to snatch her baby girl away? I grew up having a godmother, and it doesn’t make me love my mother any lesser. In fact I feel that I received so much love from both mothers and clearly I still know who is my real mother since when I’m an infant. Any time if you ask me to pick a mother, I will definitely go back to my own mother without hesitation.

since bff then you should be frank.. your bff should understand the situation too