Life with two kids

I have a 3 year old toddler and a 1+ month baby. Regret is a strong word to use. I'm starting to wonder how life is without kids, how peaceful it will be, how much free time i'll have. I don't know if i hate it or love it. It's like i don't feel im meant to be a mother because mother loves how it feels and i don't. When it's good it's great, but when it gets exhausting, i feel like packing my bags and leave. That's how tired i am. Idk if i can do this. I feel like such a disappointment.