Just want to rant about my first time breastfeeding journey

My husband and his MIL are not supportive of my breastfeeding journey. I am a FTM, and I just gave birth 1 week ago. I know all of this takes time to master the skill, and this is supply and demand one. But every time I told my husband, to open the book page for him to read about breastfeeding and latching position, he was somehow not interested to know this topic. Always got excused. Now, the MIL. His mother didn’t bfeed him. She is a very pro with formula milk. Every time she comes to our home, when I try to latch my baby, she likes to ask how? Got milk or not? How... does the baby want to drink? Then if she sees that the baby stops sucking or looks tired, she will comment “just give formula milk la”. I know she is really into formula milk. She won’t ask me to latch him when she is in our house and see the baby cries. I told her that all this takes time for my milk to have a bigger supply. I must breastfeed (supply and demand). If not he will have the habit with milk bottle, and I can’t produce milk. And this is for baby antibodies. But well what can I do when the senior mindset is already unsupportive from the start. Very hard to be convinced. Feeling sad and uncomfortable...

Anonymous

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I give birth last week as well..I am still learning about breastfeeding and tried latching but it's really hard.. tried for the first 3 days but realised that as the latch is not good plus for me I have no milk at all, but they say need to let the baby latch so that it will send the signal to the brain to generate milk. but everytime it delayed the baby drinking time, we will end up giving her formula milk first in case she is too hungry. as all the crying and hunger will lead to gas build up in the stomach. after that I tried to YouTube to see how to massage my breast so that I can have more milk. I followed one video and surprisingly milk finally came out. I use breast pump thereafter so that I can collect some milk and at least let the baby drink. now gradually increase from 20ml to 40ml. so what I do now is I jus pump my breast, and when there is not enough I will feed formula milk. as right now my stitches from normal delivery is still painful, I plan to let the baby try latching again when I recovered.

Anonymous

2y ago

Yes, that's what I did too. Partially breastfeeding. I know bb can't be dehydrated. Just that when she is at our home and know the baby shows hungry symptom, she will just go to kitchen for formula milk without asking if I wanna latch or store my milk. I really can sense that she is just into a formula milk bc she didn't breasfeed. When I try to latch, and if happen baby very fussy to drink, she will make a comment that make me uncomfortable. I need to feed him slowly ma and also still learning. Sometimes easy to breastfeed but other days difficult, must be very patient. If baby still sleeping and I tried to wake him up to latch, my MIL will comment let him sleep. Even though I told her can't sleep for so long, need to feed after 3 hours or max 4 hours. Lucky the nanny also said the same. Then she will listen. 😮‍💨 Anyway, jiayou for both of us! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Similar situation with me. My SIL insisted i had no breastmilk until i had engorgement and she started to panic. My confinement lady told me if in-laws don't allow to latch, at least pump every 2-3 hours. When my baby was 1 week old, my pumped BM was only 20ml each side. So i gave whatever i had and when baby wants milk before the next pump session, i will bring him into my room, away from my in-laws and latch him on. Week 2 came and my BM has been increasing. I stored my BM in the fridge (max 4 days) and forced my husband to stop making Formula Milk. My husband and SIL have been using my BM from the fridge ever since. I'll latch my baby at night when there's nobody to stress me out. Maybe you can try this method and tell your MIL that you have pumped BM on standby.

Don’t care abt your MIL comments! Just continue latching eventually you will produce sufficient milk. My first born immune system is very good because I believe I breastfed him. He seldom fall sick and had zero covid symptoms when he tested positive. You can do this!!

Anonymous

2y ago

Yesss! I told her about this too. This is more for the baby, to give my antibody to him. 😑 He is still so small and the more I dragged, the worse. Now is the only time to increase my milk supply by breastfeeding him. Thank you for the encouragement! :)

Don't be sad. Ignore anybody/anything that hurts u. Ur doing a great job! I am a ftm as well. Just concentrate on your baby and the million dollar smile ur baby flashes at you. After all we ftm have been through alot of challenges to reach whr we r now.

VIP Member

Sometimes it’s a language issue and your mother in law may need content in her mother tongue?

Anonymous

2y ago

She understand and can speak English well.

Home Birthclub: September 2022 husband mil not supportive breastfeeding journey i ftm i gave birth