irresponsible husband or am i exaggerating?

My husband and I have a beautiful 7-month-old baby, and while we both love our little one dearly, I can't help but feel like the responsibilities of parenthood are falling disproportionately on me. It seems like no matter what, I'm always the one who's on call for our baby. Whether it's feeding in the middle of the night, soothing during a meltdown, or managing the day-to-day tasks of childcare, it's like I'm the default parent. Meanwhile, my husband still seems to have the freedom to go out with friends, focus on his career, and pursue his interests without having to consider the baby. And while I'm happy that he's able to maintain some semblance of his pre-baby life, it's hard not to feel a little resentful when I'm the one who's constantly tethered to our little one's needs. I know that communication is key in any relationship, but I'm hesitant to bring this up with my husband because I don't want to create conflicts or hurt feelings. I worry that expressing my frustrations will only lead to arguments and further strain on our relationship. Has anyone else experienced similar feelings in their own journey through parenthood? How have you managed to navigate the division of roles and responsibilities with your partner without causing tension?

Anonymous

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For me, during my ML when I’m not working, I’m the default parent during the day. At night, I told my husband let’s work as a team to handle night duties, it’s much easier for 2 persons than one person to handle it alone. Eg, for night feeds, husband go carry baby while I prep the milk/prep to nurse. While I nurse baby, husband can go back to sleep. Once done, husband carry baby back to cot while I clean up. Similarly for night diaper change, husband carry baby from cot while I prep the diaper etc, husband raise baby’s butt while I wipe, husband put on baby’s diaper and clothes while I go wash my hands. With teamwork, both of us get to return to sleep faster and less stressful when we have each other to rely for support. My husband wasn’t like that initially and I struggled. After some quarrels that’s when he shared that he doesn’t know what he needs to do. So it helps to let him know exactly what he needs to do and establish a routine. Hope this helps! No matter what, tell yourself ultimately baby will be closer to the default parent, it’s tough now but things will get better when baby grows up. Mummies are stronger than we thought we are!

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