Divorce after a baby

My hubby and I are in a rough patch. We’ve been together for almost 11yrs. Married for 3yrs with a 1yr old baby and been in a LDR for 9yrs. When I got pregnant, our agreement was for me to get back in shape within 6mths but it did not happen. Things got worst and now we are looking into a potential divorce. At the very start of the relationship, he did mentioned he is very particular on his partner’s outlook. So there’s no lies in this and I went into the relationship knowingly. We even had an understanding if either have feelings for another person outside of our relationship, we would end our relationship first so we don’t give each other a chance to cheat on each other. I trust him that there’s no 3rd party currently. I failed on my part as his partner but promises made back at the start of pregnancy was without fully understanding the demands of a baby and it does not help that I do not get help with baby due to Covid. We are financially alright so the split sadly to say is because of me being out of shape after pregnancy. On one hand, I really want to salvage this relationship because we’ve been together a long time. But on the other hand, it reach to a point if it means happiness for him, I’m willing to let go. I’m not sure what’s next and what’s the point of me letting it out here. Its just a shame that the split had to happen when baby turns 1yr old. I’m not sure if anyone here has been through the same thing as me and how do you move on?

Anonymous

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Hey there, I’m not in the same position but I have three kids and we were in the same place 5 years back - just before the third came along. Thing is, I’m not so sure I’d be so forgiving if I were in your position. True, you went into it with your eyes wide open. But it takes two hands to clap. Perhaps the best thing to do now would be to look forward and decide how you want your child to be raised coz it looks like you’re more or less prepared to go at this alone. Many children have been raised by strong single parents and you would not be the first. Perhaps the split is for the better as seeing both of you argue every other day isn’t healthy for the little one as well. If you don’t mind me saying, I think you’re carrying a lot of guilt. I will not go as far as saying you’re not to blame but I think you know you need to forgive yourself before you can move on completely. Be at peace with yourself first - the rest will fall in place.

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