How pathetic am I when I get the loads of affection I ask hubby for happens only in my dream? *sigh*

Why do you think he spends time with that other woman? Talk to him if this thing is bothering you because if there is a suspicion in your mind about him cheating you emotionally by spending more time with other woman then it is going to go worse if you do not clear it out with him. At the earliest find out if he looks forward to spend life with the other woman and it is not societal pressure that he is with you. I mean this totally ma be false but it is best to clear things at the earliest than to waste all the precious years of your life with a person who doesn't love you but someone else. As I do not see any reason why he doesn't want to spend maximum time with you or priorities you in his life.