Struggling with Boundaries

Gosh, the involvement of my mother-in-law in raising my child is CRAZY. While I appreciate her love and concern for her grandchild, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and, dare I say it, a bit suffocated by her constant interference. Don't get me wrong – I understand the importance of family support. However, it seems like every parenting decision I make is scrutinized, and my mother-in-law believes she knows what's best for my child. I cherish the time spent with my little one, and I want to build a strong and nurturing bond with her. But it feels like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to make a move without the judgment of my mother-in-law. I long for the freedom to explore my own parenting journey, make mistakes, and learn from them, without the constant interference. I've tried having open and honest conversations with my mother-in-law about boundaries, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I want to foster a harmonious relationship, but I'm not sure how to balance respecting her role as a grandmother while still maintaining my autonomy as a mother.

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AH ALWAYS THE MIL!! Always always. Old people and their old ways cannot move on from their old times. To them we know nothing about the upbringing of our OWN child and they know best since theyve raised their children LOL. I have come to a point to set boundaries i dont even care if she’s offended with me. Worst, im staying with my in law. My mil likes to talk like she knows everything about my child, esp to others lol. I rather stay away from her if can. Like weekdays after fetching baby from ifc, and reach home i straight away bring my baby to our room and close door. When i want to bathe my baby and need to go to toilet, my mil will want to interact with my baby and ill just ignore. I dont even care what my mil thinks of me. Cause at the end of the day i am my child’s MOTHER, i know whats best for her and ill be shaping her life. Stop asking me what to do and ask me do this do that to my child. If you want, go make another baby.

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9mo ago

Same scenario too but i wish i can be like u. I dont even wish to get on her bad side cuz it will lead to an argument or unhappiness and affect me since we are also staying together. So i just chose to shut. But i only be firm on what she do to my LO that i dont like. But its annoying when she do it again and again. Really hate it when she pretend to know everything cuz she just copying what i do with my kid. Or ask me den pretend she knows it herself. Lol even show me thinking i dont knw my child development when im awaes with my child.

I didn’t dare to voice out prepregancy even when my mil was being unreasonable every other day. Once I gave birth, damn I don’t care who you are, if there’s something I don’t like when it comes to my baby, I voice out. This seems to work very well, my mil has been tamed ever since (I just told her off once) and most importantly no more crazy attitudes. Just tahan till you get your own flat, before that, stay firm on having your way because it’s YOUR child. She had her time with her son, don’t let her take away your rights.

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9mo ago

Totally agree with this! Need to be legit firm!

they will NEVER have an open conversation with you. sad to say, MILs are always the biggest problem. not tryna be negative but they definitely every single mistake u do they'll be 10 times more frustrated, blaming u, even if you tell them they will say things like "u shld have listened to me" " i told you". irritating MILs even will tell your child "see mummy don't know how to takecare of you. my advice is, as much as you want a harmonious environment, they will NOT give in and you will have to set your boundaries.

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Ahhh I'm dreading this. I'm living with my in-laws now. Though she's chill, I worry she might overstep her boundaries cos she'll be the one caring for baby till he turns 8 months old. I've also already spoken to my husb and told him that I don't want his mum to interfere in the way we raise our child. But idk man... So many scary stories of MILs here 😣

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If youre able to, apply for PPHS.. that is if youre waiting on BTO. Sometimes living far and struggling alone is better than being under one roof and "getting help everywhere".. in the end the one suffering in silence is you because you have nothing in control.

Same situation when i had my first child. You need to be firm and set boundaries consistently because they will keep pushing through if they can. Send your kid to ifc if possible and dont give in to their advice if u deem whats best for your own kid.

some MIL some their own mother ! my baby haven't come out and my mum already nagging. i understand its for my own good and the baby. but i too want to experience the journey my own. if not how am i going to learn.

Ahhh all these sounds pretty frightening to me. I also live with my in-laws and we do have very rare quarrels on what she believes is good for me. 😥 I’m worried it will worsen after baby is here.

9mo ago

I hope it wont be for u cuz it was for me too. It starts on pregnancy journey.

Best is to not live under one roof.