In-laws

Does anyone have issues with parents-in-law? My LO (currently 5 months old) is taken care by my MIL when me and hubby is at work. My MIL used to be a babysitter so she’s quite good at babies. However, she got her own set of pantangs and way of educating the child, which is very different from me. I don’t believe in pantangs at all. She doesn’t believe in what We say when we explain to her. For example, there was once baby did not poo for a week, she got so ganchiong and kept calling over the weekend telling us to try this try that. We already explained to her nicely that this is normal for BF babies but her mindset is stuck with need to poo Everyday blablabla. This is just one example. Another example is, she kept saying baby should start on solids now. Me and my husband’s take is to follow baby’s cues, we don’t have a definite to start solids at 4 months or 6 months. We did try a little puree but feel that baby is not yet ready for it. But MIL keep saying that should start alr. So irritating? Sometimes, this really irritates me and I want to send my baby to infant care instead. Is like, why must I explain what I’m doing to her and why she keep giving suggestions that I don’t want to hear. I have my own style in doing things and parenting. But my hubby refuses as infant care is expensive and he thinks it’ll be better for baby to be under grandma’s care. I do agree with him but I think it’s only for my sanity. ? Does anyone has similar experience?

Anonymous

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Oh yes, this is one big issue that is causing me and my husband to quarrel every now and then. My husband only trusts his mum and thinks that she is the only person in the world who can best look after my daughter. Everything we do or feed her must go through his mum first. Seriously, who is the mother now. She behaves as is she is my daughter's mum. My MIL loves to look after her yet complains that she is tired. I even hired a helper whom she treats her as if she pays for her when she insisted that she doesn't need one. I really cannot stand her, she thinks that everything that she does is right and anything that we do is wrong. I also want to send her to playgroup but she insists that she needs to be toilet trained before she can do so. She is dictating everything even our lives. If we are late to pick my daughter up or even the slightest mistake we do, she makes a fuss and will scold me in a very condescending manner when it was her son's fault. She will raise her voice at me and bully me verbally and she even outraged my modesty during one of our arguments. I even wanted to get a divorce because I cannot stand them. The entire family bullies me so you are definitely not alone!

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Anonymous

4d ago

Ahh same experience. My boy is also 5 months old. I wanted to send him to IFC but the whole family disagree cause my MIL said she missed out on caring for her kids when they were young so now want to make up. But hello, this is my kid and not yours. What is lost is lost, you can’t snatch away someone else’s chance just because you lost yours. Plus, I don’t agree with their parenting style. All they do is just to bring my son along when they run errands. What can you expect my son to learn from running errands with you? I need someone who really care and give attention to my son. Also, they have a lot of holiday plans and they expect me and my husband to take leaves to cover them in their absence. Do you even dictate how and when should I use my leave? I really think of divorce. Ahhh

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