embarassed of my son
Yesterday I took my kid (4 yo) to buy groceries. Usually, I don't bring him, but because yesterday there was no one to look after him at home, so I brought them... at the store, he saw chocolates and wanted them. I said softly, not now, sweetie, the dentist said your teeth will get ruined. You're not allowed to eat that too often... I felt so embarrassed, he immediately started crying and screaming. he even threw a tantrum. I was really embarrassed. I wanted to run away but that's my kid. I stayed quiet and cried until someone helped me saying it's okay... Finally, I took my kid out of the store and didn't go shopping. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Yikes. It sounds tough when a child gets angry especially outside of the home! Ive had years of practice and i cant even handle my one year old tantrums and need my husband to step in sometimes before i react in anger or annoyance. (When i was small its usually getting hit by my parents or yelled at, so i noticed i have the same anger issues too?! and i know i have to break the generational trauma) Honestly a tantrum is pretty appropriate for a child to have but slowly u can ease him to express his anger/upset with consistent practice, modelling urs or husband own behaviour, reading some books on managing emotions (kiddy stuff). Even at four or five years old tantrums are common, and sometimes can almost be labelled as 'spoiled' behaviour. But u should know how u have brought up ur child. And the influence around him like grandparents, classmates, helper. What he sees he follows, what he receives he will express on someone else. So becareful because it seems like any factor could have led to this, but it can also be giving 'face' to the point where the child always get what he wants and yea thats tough. Sometimes, rarely, ur child might have an underlying issue or behaviour which usually will be assessed and screened out by the Paediatrician if the behaviour is extreme or worrying. But i hope not. BUT my worry here is ur reaction to the tantrum. Are u okay??? I dont think uve never brought him out or raised up ur son and know him very well. Its the fact that u cried and froze. Thats not a normal reaction. There fight, flight, and freeze. Has this been going on for awhile? If u need help, do reach out for counselling or see a gp or polyclinic for referral to imh psychologist. Maybe medication might help, maybe talking to a trusted person, maybe finding out more about managing children's behaviour and what can u do as a parent. Maybe u need a break from whatever is possibly affecting u right now. Whatever it is, i hope u will be okay.
Read moreI'm sorry that some responses felt a bit judgy. It's no easy job to bring kids out, and yes, they would throw tantrums without holding back because children don't know how to regulate their emotions well yet. At the same time,I feel that you need to seek help to manage your emotional response to your child's outburst. Are you under a lot of stress on a regular basis? As it doesn't seem quite normal to me to cry when your kid throws a tantrum. May I suggest you seek some medical advice if you feel like you have issues managing your emotions? As parents, if we cannot regulate ourselves, our children will not know how to either.
Read moreyes be firm with the no try to carry him out of the store calm him down there are sugar free options in chocolates maybe u can try those to satisfy your little one introduce more fruits for the sweet cravings
You mean you haven’t been bringing him out for the past 4 years as a mother? I’m sure he cried more than this before that and you should have known how to deal with your son by now?
This may sound rude, but I honestly think you need to have more practice on this. You will find a way to deal with your son, and to regulate your emotions when it happens again.
every child & every mother is different... u will get better with practice 🥰
you cried ?
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