Saying goodbye... to bf

it’s with mixed feelings and a heavy heart that i will be saying goodbye to breastfeeding when baby is 6m. i have endured months of painful cracked blistering bleeding nipples, engorgement , lack of sleep and rest, stress at work from a not-understanding boss and colleagues, in order to provide breastmilk for my baby. i don’t produce a lot but i have tried hard and to the best of what i can do, to squeeze out whatever i can. i will dread whenever people ask, is baby on bm or formula? as soon i will have to say shamefully, the latter only. people have no idea how stressful and sad it is. conversations in the shared pumping room- “wow i have so much milk i don’t know where to store!” ... “my baby is almost 1 year and i plan to continue as long as she wants!” ... “i just need to pump 10min and i have 300ml” ... all these made me feel like a failure. to rub salt into my wounds (literally also), my baby refuses to latch sometimes but will drink straight from bottle after he bites/pushes me away. and still i endured till now. i know kind people will try to console me. but i can not help but feel i am a loser. especially when a big factor is due to work stress. i can endure the painful nipples but the stress of work piling up and being questioned by my boss “have u done this? that?” when i go to pump and my work just piling up with no help because i had to pump. my boss had hinted i need to buck up. so i end up working late and later & later with my engorged breasts. i am often the last one to leave office. even when i’m pumping i’m so fearful, i keep checking my emails. this was a major factor why i also decided to stop bf. and i feel ashamed as my baby should be the most important but i let work dictate what i do for him... but i cannot afford to lose this job as times are bad now and i need to feed the family. it’s a long post, thanks for being here and TIA for any positive thoughts sent out to me. thank you... and blessed Vesak Day.