TTC post mid-term pregnancy termination

Question

Please let me rant and release here...My husband and I decided to terminate a wanted pregnancy, because she had trisomy 21, and other chromosomal defects that may not allow her to grow till full term, and many surgeries if she survived the pregnancy. She was 21 weeks old.We have been trying to conceive again. I had 2 cycles of menses and hoped that we would conceive in this current cycle (3rd cycle) because I was already late for 3 days.Today, I wanted to take a home pregnancy test, but I started to feel cramping and saw spotting. I just knew my 3rd cycle already began.I texted hubby and he replied dont hope so much. His actual words were jangan harapkan sangat.It crushed me. Totally broke my heart. Perhaps, he could say its ok, it is not time yet or dont give up, we try again. Is it simply that he does not understand or not realising that it was insensitive?And right now I cannot stop crying.Thank you for hearing me out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh no. I feel for you! Im ttc too and Im so anxious to see if my period comes in the next few days. I also tell myself jangan harapkan sangat. Of course, I still mengharap. I believe your husband mean no harm. Hes just not aware of the right words to use. For all we know, hes telling himself jangan harapkan sangat too, hoping to console himself and not be disappointed.

Mich · Answer

Hugs hugs hugs.It’s difficult for men to give the right words. Forgive him. Maybe he saw that you are stressing yourself out and wanted to help you de-stress. Good that you rant and release. Cry if want also.

Missus T · Answer

I’m sorry for your loss. It must have been a very difficult decision. Often times men says the wrong things but totally meant it differently. Their words will come out harsh but actually meant well. Cramping and spotting can actually be a sign of pregnancy. Hope things will get better for you. Don’t give up! If you can get pregnant, high chances you’ll be able to conceive again. It’s only a matter of time. Good luck!