26 Replies
How to avoid or solve the conflict with parents in law when still stay together in their house (failed apply bto) ?e.q : i don't give chocolate to my daughter cause she is still cough but their grandparents give chocolate because my daughter want it and throw her tanthrum..i let them cause i don't wanna make conflict..how to make them respect about my rules to my daughter? Thank you..
We have tried our best to respond to the questions as best as possible. We understand that things may sometimes be more complicated. Please do feel free to reach out to us for more clarification or support. All the best in your parenting journey! Reconnect Psychology & Family Therapy (+65) 8699 0568 contact@reconnect.com.sg
How do we make our in laws respect the boundaries and follow the rules we have for our baby? My in law specifically, keep thinking they always have the rights since they are the elder ones and we need to share / show our babies to everyone
REPLY FROM EVONNE: I can understand how hard it is to assert your boundaries especially when you want to be still respectful to your in-laws. When you share your boundaries, you hope that your in-laws will understand and respect it. Firstly you might want to validate their feelings of pride for their grandchild. Share your understanding about their custom. Then, you might want to share your reasons for your boundaries and rules and how it makes sense for you and your spouse. It may be that you say that you wish for your child to learn about safety and boundaries too. Grandparents are important people for your children, and they can contribute in different ways.
I've been struggling with my mother-in-law's constant advice about parenting. Can you provide solution to address this issue without causing tension?
I'm concerned that my in-laws might be negatively influencing my children. How can I address this issue without causing a rift in the family?
REPLY FROM AMBER: Thanks for your question! It looks like you’re noticing behaviours you’re not comfortable with. If you’re noticing negative impact on your children, it may be a good idea to have an open and respectful conversation with your spouse first, to explore if you are sharing the same views. If possible, having an open conversation with your in laws could be very helpful. While I do acknowledge it can be hard, it may be helpful to seek understanding of their perspectives before sharing your concerns. Of course, if you are concerned about harm to your child, you would have the right to protect your child for their safety.
My sister-in-law has a habit of criticizing my lifestyle choices. How can I address this without damaging our relationship?
we have different parenting styles from my in-laws, and it's affecting our children. How to successfully resolvedd this issue??
REPLY FROM AMBER: It’s not easy when grandparents have different methods of parenting and are heavily involved in caregiving. If you’re noticing impact on your children, it may be a good idea to speak with your spouse to explore if you are sharing the same views. If possible, having an open conversation with your in laws could be very helpful. If possible, seek to understand their perspectives before sharing your concerns. Most grandparents may be overly strict or permissive out of their worries for the grandchildren they love dearly. Helping them see that you’re seeking to understand them and build a better relationship with your child may help them be more open to your feedback. All the best! AMBER
Thank you everyone for your questions! We will be responding as a team, and will take time to respond to each thread.
I feel caught up in the middle when my spouse and my parents disagree. how to to get through this tricky situation?
How important is it for couples to be on the same page when dealing with in-law issues?
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