My 2.5 year old boy just started preschool a few days ago. He cries hysterically when he goes to school and has nightmares at night. I am close to pulling him out from school. What should I do?

My boy also started his 2 hours playgroup recently. He shows some behavioural changes e.g. more bad temper, wake up more at night, more separation anxiety whenever didn't see me around him at home. He also cried badly before entering into the school. However, the situation has improved after 2 weeks. Now although he cries when waving bye bye to me, but after I left he is happily playing in the school. Most of the children will experience crying and separation anxiety when just started school as it is a totally new environment to them. What I did to help with his transitions are: - 1-2 weeks before actual school, I borrowed story books regarding 'Going to School' and read with him and explain to him why we need to go to school and what are the activities he will be experienced in school. - I taught him what to say when I am about to leave him at school, e.g. byebye mummy, see you later and come to fetch me again soon. This will make sure he knows that 'I will be coming back and will not leave him there forever'. - If you notice your kid likes/attaches to particular teacher, tell the teacher to handle your child each time he is crying especially when you are leaving the kid. - After he comes back from school, I will try to ask teacher how did he do in school and any special events happen. After I know what is going on, I will try to chat with him and prompt he to tell me about his day in school. - I try to encourage him by telling him he is brave and able to go school independently. As my boy likes to eat durian, I will always use this scenario and prompt him to think: you are so brave to eat durian although there are so many thorns, so I believe you are brave enough to go to school too. This is a type of positive thinking that we can instill in them. Coming to 3rd week and he is crying less and coping pretty well. Please do not withdraw him just because he is crying. It is just a phase that most children will experience. Yes, I admit that we will feel heartpain to see our children crying but that is the part and parcel of growing up process and to be an independent human. However, if you notice he is crying more than 2 to 3 months, there could be some reasons e.g. the ways of teacher handling him etc. -

Make sure you check with the school. My nephew was the same and my sister thought it was separation anxiety. After 6-8months she decided to change school. She applied for tours to a lot of schools and let the child decide what he like. After he decided. He was happy to attend and there was no more crying. It can be the teachers he doesnt like or the kids. Who knows but it help changing.

Starting school is a huge milestone for children. It may be too overwhelming for him having to be around so many strangers and without relatives for so many hours. Do give him more time to adapt to the environment. It might take up to a month.

thanks