Wow! I must say ur mother is quite extreme. I think u are already pretty fair about showing her trusted sources about it but she won't budge. Frankly I am not picky abt food but I cannot imagine no veg for so long and eating almost the same everyday.
DON'T involve her for the upcoming confinement. Hire a confinement lady! I don't think u are still living w her right? Do at ur own place or ur in-law place but be the boss and not be bossed around. Other ways to handle will be to order confinement carter food, get a nanny, or get a maid and ask ur husband to take leave for 2 wks.
The so called for ur own good is based on ur experience and all the hear say - no real backing. Just because it turn out well for a few doesn't mean it will for others.
Why risk a very potential experience? She is welcomed to visit but not welcomed to stay too long or poke her nose into ur confinement. It's alrdy ur second confinement, by right if need be, u can bath and see baby a little here and there.
Other ways to involve but not involve her is to suggest putting the number one at her house or ask her to bring the older one out a few times a wk for a few hrs
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Mama of 1 sunny prince