Hi mummies, how do your cope with your confinement? My mum did confinement for me for my no1, it was a terrible experience that we(husband and i) had. She is very strict and traditional. Wants me to wear long sleeves and pants(ok im fine about it) but she doesnt allow me to bathe or on fan especially to slp. I developed rashes on my body and yet she told me that everyone went through that, it is normal to have rashes, after confinement it will go off by itself. I showed her articles frm Eu Yan Sang stating about the myths of not bathing etc, even approach my own trusted tcm clinic sinseh which all the while he is our tcm sinseh since young said that it is ok to bathe and keep myself clean, as long as i dry myself thoroughly after bathe. Also, avoid direct contact with the wind(frm fan and aircon), all these are fine. Yet my mum still denies and said all these are rubbish. I had several heated arguments with her alrd. Now with no2, im stress about confinement again so is my husband. Food wise every meals are the same. No plain water, no fruits no veg(only selected 1 or 2 choices) She nags and nags, i know she meant well but how to survive with her "logic". Ok, everyday my meals definitely comes with ginger with steamed fish and a plate of rice, good times there will be additional 1 plate of ginger with broccoli. Thats all. She cooked the same every meal for lunch and dinner, expecting me to finish all the food. She says no soup, soup bla bla bla like not gd or i cant drink soup. After probably 10days im really sick of the food and couldnt even eat any yet she nags and scolds non stop. Complaining to all her friends and relatives abt hw "disobeying" i am. Then some of her nosy friends will add on to the nagging. I don't know what else can i do or say to change her mind or even negotiate with her. It is really horrible experience on my end. Trustable source and tcm i hav also approached and showed it to her. I am really stress about my confinement than anything else. Her best line is " i also survived, you think you are the only one doing confinement? Confinement is meant to have discipline. Whether you like it or not ok! I am doing for your own gd, you not happy then leave" :( Any advise please

37 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Never let your mum help with confinement again for no2. Having a baby is already very tired and the weather in sg is hot and humid which means is a must to bathe and wash hair. Having rashes is NOT normal, being dirty how to take care of little ones.... Those no showering saying is only for olden times China where there is no hot water and during winter where it's cold and u don't sweat. If you must do confinement, get a confinement lady. If not, it's not a must to have one nor do confinement too. Coz some CL also does cause headaches for the mummy... Otherwise get a part time helper to cook and clean the house for you but you take care of little ones by yourself. Nothing is perfect and you gotta weight the pros n cons. For me, I won't want to spoilt my relationship with my mum and make myself sad, angry, uncomfortable so I rather forgo the unnecessary confinement.

Read more
8y ago

If given a choice, i wouldnt want my mum to ever do confinement for me too. I have been through that horrible experience, wouldnt want myself to go through that anymore. That is why hubby and i are trying very hard to convince my mum and bringing her to talk to more people(tcm, other more modern and educated elderly) hoping that she would listen and change her mind. I really at my wits end. From the start when i know i was preg with no2, i start to fret and worry about my confinement. Had nume