Hi mummies, how do your cope with your confinement? My mum did confinement for me for my no1, it was a terrible experience that we(husband and i) had. She is very strict and traditional. Wants me to wear long sleeves and pants(ok im fine about it) but she doesnt allow me to bathe or on fan especially to slp. I developed rashes on my body and yet she told me that everyone went through that, it is normal to have rashes, after confinement it will go off by itself. I showed her articles frm Eu Yan Sang stating about the myths of not bathing etc, even approach my own trusted tcm clinic sinseh which all the while he is our tcm sinseh since young said that it is ok to bathe and keep myself clean, as long as i dry myself thoroughly after bathe. Also, avoid direct contact with the wind(frm fan and aircon), all these are fine. Yet my mum still denies and said all these are rubbish. I had several heated arguments with her alrd. Now with no2, im stress about confinement again so is my husband. Food wise every meals are the same. No plain water, no fruits no veg(only selected 1 or 2 choices) She nags and nags, i know she meant well but how to survive with her "logic". Ok, everyday my meals definitely comes with ginger with steamed fish and a plate of rice, good times there will be additional 1 plate of ginger with broccoli. Thats all. She cooked the same every meal for lunch and dinner, expecting me to finish all the food. She says no soup, soup bla bla bla like not gd or i cant drink soup. After probably 10days im really sick of the food and couldnt even eat any yet she nags and scolds non stop. Complaining to all her friends and relatives abt hw "disobeying" i am. Then some of her nosy friends will add on to the nagging. I don't know what else can i do or say to change her mind or even negotiate with her. It is really horrible experience on my end. Trustable source and tcm i hav also approached and showed it to her. I am really stress about my confinement than anything else. Her best line is " i also survived, you think you are the only one doing confinement? Confinement is meant to have discipline. Whether you like it or not ok! I am doing for your own gd, you not happy then leave" :( Any advise please

37 Replies
undefined profile icon
Write a reply

How about hiring your own confinement lady? I rather save n thrift to pay for a confinement lady than have unhappiness w my mum. I think tt im old enough to make my own decisions. My mum also think the same way so she doesnt nag at me. The best way is not get her involve in confinement. She will be upset but she got to reflect as well. You must b firm!

Read more
6y ago

my mum and mil did for my first baby. both very strick and naggy. i went thru almost the same as u... and, yes, i agree, i had a culture shock for my first confinement! That’s bcos i am a new mum! After 4 rounds of confinement now preggy with 5th baby, i would say, I decide my own rule. U say what u want. But I would not really “touch water” or wash hair so frequent. Cos i really experience bone pain for a year when i wash with cold water while in the hospital. I think there is some logic to all the confinement practices. i asked and challenged and now i know that it all depends on your body how strong you are. Cos truely, straight after giving birth, our body is weak and vulnerable. And important thing is it is beginning to “seal up”, or “close back” all that has been “opened” or stretched for so many months. And for asian chinese body, we are not very strong like ang mohs. so it does pay off well to be careful not to get the “confinement wind” into your body by avoiding (temperature