Selfish and self centred mother-in-law
Hello Mommies, I really needs to rant out and I don’t know who I can speak to. I really dislike my mother-in-law and my husband knows the reason was because his mother is way too self-centred and selfish. I never had any argument with my in-law before but I really feel sad on how they treated me. Just a bit of history.. Not only she commented about the house I wanted to get before married 3 years ago.. And when I was 4 months pregnant when we had our Chinese custom wedding last year after Chinese New Year. Things doesn’t turned to be like fairy tale ever since my mother-in-law knows I’m having a baby girl, she doesn’t show any concern whenever we visited her despite knowing baby and I was having complications. She can continue to have her lunch, treating as if heard nothing when I shared baby and I wasn’t doing well, she was sitting at the same table. The most she did was calling my husband to ask how are we newly wed doing.. Since baby born, she didn’t wants to visit us even though she called maybe alternate days. We invited her again and she did came for a while during baby’s full month and she gave me that deep impression of her didn’t want to come at all by putting on her mask throughout to avoid conversation with my parents who also here celebrating. She an able-bodied person, retiree, well educated so traveling by public transport or us getting her a cab down not a issue to her and she used to go for holidays few times a year before Covid. This year CNY supposed to be our first year celebrating together with our baby girl however she didn’t invite us for any reunion which this time she really pissed my family on how she had been treated me. My family felt that she doesn’t seems to welcome me and baby girl. What i can do to calm my family is by telling them maybe my mother-in-law doesn’t know how to cook so she didn’t invite. To be honest, I felt she is good in acting. She always acted my baby girl is her darling when in front of her family, but the truth is she behaved differently when they not around, bossy attitude to me. Definitely my husband believes that his mom is the best caring mommy and granny. The recent episode she and my husband really drives me nuts. I made the initial by asking husband to bring her and her sister out for lunch to catch up, lunch venue was so near to her place yet my husband just so sayang his mom and went to pick them up, left me and baby at the restaurant. (They had no issue to go overseas so a less than 10 mins bus ride is a issue to them now?!) After lunch, they wants to go elsewhere to get a sales item despite knowing we are going to my friend’s place do home visit my husband told me let’s send them. Fine, no use even I reminded him in front of them the timing we need to reach. Out of courtesy, my husband told his mum anything call him. She called 15 minutes after we dropped them and requested my husband to go back fetch them home from where we dropped them! Guess what? We was standing at my friend’s door not even stepped in! I trying to be nice, so I told my husband that’s fine you just go fetch them because I was thinking the maximum he would take will be 30 minutes to come back. But this selfish mother-in-law asked my husband to send them go elsewhere buy groceries and ended up nearly two hours my husband finally came back to me and baby. Why I am angry? We were supposed to catch up with my friend and family (my husband know them), yet I was left alone with my baby while my husband go to do chauffeur cum deliveryman service. What era is this that you think it is so hard to take public transport in Singapore? (I thought she told us they will fetch a taxi home?) I felt that I do not have the most basis respect from my husband and especially his mom! Maybe she just forgotten that his son has already married and got kid now? Why is she bossy him here and there and leaving me and my baby aside? I know my husband is filial piety, but I don’t understand why my mother-in-law can’t respect that we have our own lives now, even if she didn’t know we are going for home visit, even if we are going shopping you shouldn’t even call my husband back to pick you! Might as well ask us to wait for you to done with all your shopping then go do our own thing! Like how she treated me when I was pregnant feeling unwell! As usual, we quarrelled again BECAUSE OF HIS MOM. Again, he sided his mom thinking there’s no wrong for him to go fetch her, left me and baby behind. Many of you will advise me to have a conversation with him but I have tried talked to him many times, and reminded him your mom is always the cause of our arguments since the day I married to you! This time he told me that he don’t care if you think I am a Mommy Boy, as we have different all perception and the way I treated my family is different from you. (He will always drag my family out and making remarks saying the way I treat my family not so good whenever if we are talking about his mom - I was taught to be individual since young, hence my family won’t be like his mom behaving like a typical evil lazy never grownup mom always expecting the kids to serve her) I had given him the last option to separate if he still continues treating his mom as the priority even more important than baby and me. Because this wasn’t the first time all these happened. I’m tired of always being the one giving in, and making myself feeling so depressed, like not living like the true self as if a clown. Thank you Mommies for willing to read my long post..
