MIL issue

I'm sahm and raise my daughter alone (my parents live oversea). Mil will come by once or twice a week to visit. On the weekend I want it to be our family time but she always want to go to where ever we go. I didn't really like that because she will do thing I don't like. If I tell her , dont let my daughter watch tv (1.5 years old), she will say never mind la. If I tell her, dont give her snack because its soon time for lunch, she will secretly give and my daughter is difficult eater. So now problem is husband and I had very big arguement about her tagging along with us. We visit his parents every weekend for a meal. But that seem not enough. Today we had a big fight over this issue and he said "I should ask you if you like my mother first before we marry!". It broke my heart hearing that. What should I do?

Anonymous

7 Replies

Write a reply

We all are in the same boat mummy. What works for us is a) both of us are in the same team - so as a couple, we set some ground rules about naps, screen time, and meals. No one is allowed to break them unless we are on holidays. b) We let the grandparents have their way about other things, like taking the kids to the park, dressing them up, brushing the teeth. That way, the grandparents feel involved without disturbing the important routine. You have to understand, it is difficult for anyone to choose between mum and partner. So, best avoid such situations. Explain to your husband how important routines are for a baby, how your 1.5 yo should have zero screen time. At the same time, try your best to be amicable to your mil. So, when your hubby talks to his mum, he can say," listen to her, she is nice to you, isn't she?" hope this helps.

Hi, I believe that your husband say that out of anger please don't get too upset about it. Your husband must be in a very bad position too stuck between the wife and mum. I think he also hope that he can please the 2 women of his life. May be you can have a chat with your husband when both of you cool down. Explain to him your point. Try to take a step back to think that isn't it good to allow your daughter to spent more time with elderly so that when she grow older, she will learn how to respect elderly? Sometimes elder just want to spend more time with the family.

TapFluencer

Words spoken in the heat of anger does not help in the conversation. Try to find a time when things are neutral and open up a line of conversation. Share your point of view and find a middle ground solution so you meet each other halfway. Good luck!

Promo terbesar expert care sudah dimulai, diskon hingga Rp.100.000 sedang berlangsung di shopee, ada juga voucher diskon 100% alias gratis bagi bunda yang beruntung. Buruan cek di https://shope.ee/9UfEMMqqTg (id-43586)

he probably is in a lot of stress (torn between the 2 women in his life) and said it out of anger. try to have a heart to heart talk when he's calmed down. it's important to have a open communication.

Dear Mum, Please relax. I think your husband said that in anger and talking your heart out when he is in normal mood should help

VIP Member

Communication is the key. Believe it was in a spite of anger, talk to your hubby about it.

Home Just Mums im sahm raise daughter alone parents live oversea mil come once twice week visit weekend i want family time but always want go where ever go i didnt really like that because thing i dont like if i tell dont let daughter watch tv 15 years old say never mind la if i tell dont give snack because soon time lunch secretly give daughter difficult eater now problem husband i had very big arguement about tagging along with visit parents every