Just wanted to share my feelings

I'm a SAHM and have a 14m & 1m old baby. I'm staying with my mom. Since I had my 2nd it's kinda hard for me to handle housework and 2 kids. I always feel tired all the time. I barely had the time to feed my toddler. Pls don't judge me, I know it's not good for him if he doesn't have proper meals. I also find it hard for me to eat proper meals. Sometimes I only eat once a day and have to rush eating my food as my NB will be crying. Even aft 1m postpartum I still can't adjust well with a toddler & nb. I feel so stressed handling two kids at the same time. Sometimes I find myself just staring blankly at my NB and ignoring her cries. I also had bad thoughts on my mind. There are times when I raise my voice to my NB or toddler whenever they can't stop crying. Also, my mom comment abt my son weight. She said that when my sis in law brings my son out and sleepover once in a while at her hse, my son seems to be more chubbier but whenever my son's with me he seems to look skinnier. I thought to myself, ofc my sis in law is able to take better care of my son. She has a maid to help with housework and she doesn't work, so she's able to focus all her time with my son. I feel so sad that me as a mom, I can't even take care of my own son properly and others are capable of doing a better job than me. I just kept quiet and didn't tell anyone about my feelings. My husband works a 12hr night shift so he will sleep during the day. He does help me bathe our kids and look after them for abt 1-2hr aft he reaches home while I shower n do as much housework as I can. But aft that he needs to sleep and rest, I understand that he needs his rest. I really feel so useless and stressed as a mom that I can't take care of them properly. Why can't I be like other moms who have more than one kid and still manage with the housework Sorry for this long post

Anonymous

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Sorry that you had to go through this while juggling two kids under 2. In my POV since you are staying with your mum then you have to help you when needed. I don't say she helps you most of the time but when necessary. As you mentioned you need to do chores, cooking, feeding, etc then she can help you too. For example if she cooks and you clean, you cook and she oversees your child. I mean yes we don't depend on mum. But in my POV instead of she comparing you and SIL, might as well help too right. Also learn to set a routine for your 14 months like waking up, bathing, breakfast/lunch/dinner, nap, playtime. If your #1 plays in the play pen then you do other chores but at the same time within your eyesight. If your #2 sleeps after bathing, milk then you settle what is needed like I mentioned chores, cooking, or attending to #1. Can't deny it is not easy but do as much as you can, plan your to do list, set timer like 1 hr to do house reset/cooking/lunch while kids are sleeping. While it is not easy for everyone, it is duable and sets your own pace. Also learning to let go and have little me time for your own. I have two kids but 5 years apart. But I do still have to do a lot while working from Mon to Thur and only having to settle everything over the weekend like chores, laundry, cleaning, etc. My #2 I follow her IFC routine while my #1 plays on her own. I settle as much as I can. Otherwise Ill wait for them to sleep and I do it. Hope this helps. Don't be stressed but take it slowly, and trial/error.

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Home Just Mums im sahm have 14m 1m old baby im staying with mom since i had 2nd ki