My possessive mother in law

Recently I went for a business trip, and when I came back, my sis in law ask my son if he miss me. My mil gave a disgusted look. All along she doesn't want my son to be close to me... but I wonder why can't my son be close to me.. I am the mum. I don't feel my husband know the pain in me... who is so evil to want the child not close to the own mum.... I really have enough of my mil... I can't trust her at all with my son..she wan my son to be closer to her than me... nobody understands the fear and pain in me... since my son is born, she being saying nasty things to me. Sometimes i feel so stress that i feel so despair about my life... my husband is also definitely closer to his family than me. When i was pregant that time... i had bleeding on his niece birthday and he gave me a look like i purposely try not to attend the birthday. After going to hospital for the jab, i still have to go to the birthday celebration of the niece...I feel so alone.. #adviceplease #firstimemom

Mum To Be

Got a bun in the oven

7 Replies

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you are strong independent women I think it's better to divorce with your husband if he never change. I know there will be fight for custody of the kids but it's up to you, if not there's other ways marriage counseling, nearby social workers just call family service center and you just ask them if anyone can help with you and your husband situation, they mostly would suggest marriage counseling, so you guys get to know how you feel about each other, I know the pain of giving birth, we mothers have to go through all the pain while the husband just stand there and motivate us. plus don't forget 1th,2nd,3rd degree stitches for natural birth hurts alot too, man will never understand the pain of giving birth to a child, even if we describe it. but what a real man can do is support his wife and motivate his wife no matter what. that is important.

Maybe you can stand against your husband . I was once in this situation too, i used to be fear and following them in every situation. But then i realised this is my son , i gave birth to him. And then i started to fight against my husband. When he use his mother to threaten me, i screamed back at him “ OH SO WHAT? U THINK I SCARE ? THIS IS MY SON, NOT YOUR MOM SON. IM DOING MY BEST TO RAISE MY SON . AND YOU??? ONLY KNOW HOW TO ASK YOUR MOM FOR HELP! MOMMY BOY LA U! I PUT IN CHILDCARE THEN U UPSET? What right do you have to be upset when what you did is only “ASK MOM FOR HELP” ! Have u changed his diaper?? Have u feed him??? Have you put him to sleep??? NEVER! I did everything and now i put him into childcare then u complain??? U like your mother so much then u marry your mom la!!!! Marry me for what???

I feel sorry for your situation. Managing relationship with mil is really not easy. I suggest u have a calm talk with your husband. Let him know how you feel, and that while you know he is very close to his family, now that you two have a child, you need his support to protect your family. This refers to you three as a family unit. You are his child's mother, and you need him to protect you,not just the child. Protecting the mother is also protecting the child

Mum To Be

Got a bun in the oven

9mo ago

to be honest my husband uses his mum to threaten me to do things or blame me... say my son has to go preschool because I don't let his mum take care... else he will say if u don't send him to school every morning then let his mum take care... so he will use his mum so that he can't avoid certain things

After reading your post and replies, the issue seems to be your husband rather than your mil because he is allowing this to happen. He is supposed to defend you not help his mum to bully you. Stand up for yourself and be firm, don’t let him talk you down. Have a talk with him. You have every rights, as a wife and as the mother of your child.

TapFluencer

Hi mum, I'm so sorry to hear that and your situation… let me hug you from this word… are you alone right now? Or you can go out somewhere to make your heart better? And I think you need someone to listen to what you want, what you feel and you need to try to talk about what you feel to your husband. And what your Mil have done to you….