I'm going through a divorce and have a 1 year old son who is still breastfeeding. My husband just told me he wants the custody of my son when he cannot even make clever decisions for him. To him, spending time with his son means lying in bed together and playing iPad / watching YouTube. Do note my husband makes terrible plans and has bad manners such as eating loudly in public and is very lazy. After marriage he gained 20kg due to his lazines within 1 year. The only thing is, he has a high income. He say he will fight with me in court. I am planning to get a full time job and hire a helper to take care of my son so i can take care of us financially. What are my chances of getting full custody?

Custody and Care and Control are 2 different thing. 1. Custudy is what Diana Lai Described. 2. Having a care and control is to take care of kid's daily needs and entitle you to Child Support. The above are just legal terms, just let me share with you my experience as a soon-to-be divorced father. My wife & I both love the kid very much but we can't stand each other. In early stage she threaten to take full custody and care and control even she doesn't have the ability to do so. She push the baby to me after her maternity leave. Naturally during that I'm very stress and I can't focus on my work and etc. My friend counsel me and told just focus on the kid. Don't bother about the legal terms. I master all my energy and abilities. I hired a maid and prepare my house to care for baby. So now I have my baby(6 month+) for 5 days week because she is unwilling to take over care and control of the baby even she insist she has the right bah bah. I'm trying to claim child support from her but she is giving ridiculous reason. Going to engage a lawyer soon. (Yes I'm a father doesn't meant I have to pay for everything) With the above said Divorce is a selfish decision. I urge you to read "Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce" It will provide you the strength and sanity to work with your husband for your kid. A lot of times my wife drive me up the wall with her whatsapp messages and etc. Back to yourself. 1. Challenge him to take care of the baby for 1 week. I doubt he will be able to do it. I struggle a lot myself too 2. Yes you should get a job because the care and control usually goes to the one with a job. (doesn't have to high income). Even you are not in a divorce you should get a job. 3. Tell him to go see lawyer before saying he wants to fight in court. Each court attendance can cost up to 5k, it will slowly drain his finances. For yourself, you can go for legal aid so this war of attribution is on your side. You can play this dragging game with him + after getting interim custody. Drain him down on child support. If your marriage is more than 5 years, sue for maintenance too! My personal opinion is to have co-parenting. 1~2 overnight stay for the non-custodial parent. This will provide you some ME time which you desperately need!