My in-law’s place: Am I OCD? Or is the environment really bad?

I’m a FTM, and my baby is 2.5 months old. I’m currently staying at my in-laws’, and I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the environment here. I also feel bad for my baby ☹️ Firstly, air pollution — the house is frequently exposed to 2nd hand and 3rd hand smoke. My FIL, bro-in-law and husband are heavy smokers. It’s a corridor unit and they smoke at the corridor, sometimes in the toilet. They also burn incense (like 10+ joss sticks each time) for prayers every morning and evening. As a non-smoker, I cannot stand the smell and worry for the health of my baby. Secondly, noise pollution — my FIL is a retiree and hurls profanities frequently (always talks to himself and curses out loud in Cantonese). He loves to watch TV loudly every night from 11pm to 4am, and sometimes it’s difficult to soothe baby to sleep at night. Lastly, hygiene — the family doesn’t have a habit of washing hands with soap or using hand sanitizer before touching/carrying my baby. They didn’t have any hand soap at their sinks until I moved in and bought for everyone to use, but I wonder if they use. I always complain to my husband, but he thinks I’m a clean freak and being OCD since he grew up in this environment. Is it just me?

Anonymous

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Firstly, you should be telling your husband about smoking. Secondly, to remind them to always wash hands before touching your little one. It is for the safety of your child. You are not clean freak but you have every right to ensure clean environment in homes plays a part esp for newborn at growing up stage. Perhaps, you might want to shift to your mum's place every now and then. Otherwise, you have to let them know what you feel and atleast have empathy on their grandchild. Meanwhile, you can ensure doors and windows are open for fresh air. Or you can get air purifier to place in the room or living room. Wishing you the best, hope it helps.

Nope not OCD. I do that at my home too. I always have soap at the sink and whoever that comes in have to wash their hands and feet first before doing anything else. Do you have a room for yourself and baby? Best to stay inside the room for some time while they smoke or curse.. also go down for a walk somewhere cooling so baby can sleep too. Lastly, keep an air purifier it that works?

I totally understand your concerns. I dont think its a OCD. Try talking to your husband about it. Make him understand that you are not comfortable with the situation. Maybe somedays you can bring your LO out for a walk to get some fresh air. You can unwind too 😊 Dont worry too much, hopefully things will get better for you.

I don't think it's OCD too, these are basic hygiene and courtesy too.. your husband probably don't see it a problem because he have been growing up in such environment.. maybe can try communicating with your husband to see if can move out ? or invest in a air purifier for better pollution

Don't think this is OCD, just basic care and proper hygiene. communication is key here, try talking gently and explain to ur husband n his family and seek their cooperation . . they might not even aware their actions are causing harm to baby and just cont to do what they doing. .

Definitely not OCD. Those are legitimate concerns and you are right, your husband don't see it because he grew up in that environment.

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